The Bruisermania Wrestling Federation--Where Superstars are created and Jabronies are humiliated!

(Aquatic is walking around with a glazed look in her eyes. Judge walks up to her from a nearby alleyway.)

Judge: Hey Aquatic! (Aquatic turns to face him.) Listen….you've had a really ba dnight. If you want, you could go home now. You don't have to manage me tonight.

Aquatic: I-I appreciate that. But I want to be in your corner against Myers tonight. I booked you against him because I thought it would be a great chance for you to test your mettle against the old school. Kill the Tuff Enuff stigma any way possible, right?

Judge: Well, I think I already did that on my own, thank you very much.

Aquatic: Indeed. Let me just see if I have this…(Aquatic unzips and reaches into her skirt pocket, pulling out a white baggie.) Yeah. All ready to go.

Judge: What's that?

Aquatic: A fine wheated powder, grinded with the feathers of an eagle. Sure to ward off evil spirits such as Myers.

Judge: Uh huh. And how will this work?

Aquatic: I dunno, chuck it in his eyes? (Aquatic hands the bag to Judge.)

Judge: Heh, thanks. Say, you ever need anyone to….you know, help you out with things….I might be able to…

Aquatic: Yeah…

(Judge and Aquatic almost hug, but then just sort of turn it into a close 'handshake of professionalness.' Judge exits as Aquatic sighs.)

FADE

LILLY: This contest is a non-title match scheduled for one fall.

Hailing from Miami, FL...
Weighing in at 230 pounds...

The BMWF Light Heavyweight Champion...
The Judge

PA: You are now about to enter the courtroom of THE JUDGE!

(Black and white pyros shoot off around the stage as the Judge Joe Brown theme hits. The Judge and Aquatic appear from behind the curtains with The Judge holding his BMWF Light-Heavyweight title over his shoulder. They walk about halfway down the ramp and then stop. The Judge raises his gavel in the air and then brings it down three times, each time a black and white pyro shoots off behind them. The Judge and Aquatic enter the ring and The Judge raises his Light-Heavyweight title in the air as Aquatic stands there with her arms folded. The Judge grabs a mic from ringside as the crowd cheers.)

Judge: Myers, my fellow Tuff Enuff graduate, I cannot say I am happy to see you back in the BMWF. A few months ago, when Hardcore Harry and myself were the only two Tuff Enuff graduates left, we had a match at Trax Training Facility to determine the Ultimate Tuff Enuff winner. Of course, I easily won that match. But now that you have decided to return, that title can no longer stand. Myers, you and I will need to compete for that title somewhere down the road, but tonight I'm going to give my fans and Jury members the opportunity to see a little preview of what that match might look like when I whoop your BLEEP from one side of the Dean Smith Arena to the other!

(The crowd cheers.)

Judge: Myers...tonight you are going to get your welcome-back beating straight from the person you entered the BMWF with originally, and Myers...THAT...IS...FINAL!

(The Judge tosses the mic down and waits for his opponent as Aquatic exits the ring with The Judge's robe.)

LILLY: His opponent...
Hailing from Haddenfield...
Weighing in at 287 pounds...

Myers

*DING DING*

JR: There's the bell!
Myers hits The Judge.
Myers is starting to get more cheers than boos.
The Judge punches Myers.
The Judge seemingly enjoys the boos.
The Judge chops Myers.
Myers chops The Judge.
Myers acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him.
Myers hoists The Judge high into the air with a vertical suplex, then sends The
Judge crashing hard to the mat.
Myers has The Judge by the head, jumps onto the ropes and comes off with a treme
ndous Tornado DDT!
Earl Hepner counts: One, two, kickout.
Myers uses a boot to face on The Judge.
Myers executes a butterfly suplex on The Judge.
Myers has The Judge by the head, jumps onto the ropes and comes off with a treme
ndous Tornado DDT!
Earl Hepner counts: One, two, kickout.
Myers runs into the ropes.
Myers hits The Judge with a shoulderblock.
Myers throws The Judge out of the ring.
Myers rolls out under the bottom rope.
Myers throws The Judge into the guardrail.
The Judge is busted wide open.
Myers knocks The Judge into the ringpost.
Myers hoists The Judge high into the air with a vertical suplex, then sends The
Judge crashing hard to the mat.
Aquatic comes from behind, but Myers nails Aquatic.
The Judge goes for a DDT, but Myers blocks it.
Earl Hepner counts: 1.
Myers gets back into the ring.
The Judge climbs back into the ring.
Myers goes for a German suplex, but The Judge blocks it.

(The screen cut's away and shows a pair of black cowboy boots walking somewhere backstage.)

JR: What is this?
King: Hey! were trying to call a match out here!

(The boots continue to walk the monitor can see various BMWF staff and crew in the background as the boots in the foreground of the shot appear to be entering the entrance area of the Bruisertron.)

JR: Whoever that is is right behind the screen King!
King: I've seen those boots before that's

(Highway to Hell begins to roar into the Dean Smith Arena. The power chords split the North Carolina night as pyro ignites on the bruisertron stage exposing a battered Reno Fontayne standing defiantly at the top of the bruisertron stage. Reno is dressed in blue wrangler jeans his worn out black boots and a long sleeved "The Church" tee shirt. Reno's face is a patchwork of cuts and bruises and his mirrored sunglasses attempt to hide visibly blackened eyes.)

JR: Reno and Box had one Hell of a match last week King, The Hardcore champion barely escaped with a victory!

King: Barely escaped! Box clearly out Reno'd Reno!!!

(Reno stands at the top of the bruisertron ramp before pulling a microphone from his back pocket.)

Reno: CHAPEL HILL NORTH CAROLINA!!!! To quote my buddy Lowe!! CAN YOU FEEL ME!!!?!??!!? THE CHURCH IS IN TOWN!!! SO PACK UP YOUR SISTERS AND MOTHERS AND BRING EM DOWN TO THE BIG TENT WERE GONNA DO SOME SOUL SAVIN TONITE!! Last week, Last week, I experienced the Box!! I found out why this kid is the Hardcore champion!! Last week I found out why this kid is the hottest superstar in the BMWF!!! Box to be the man!! You have to beat the man!! and last monday night!!! I'm taking my hat off to you!! You beat the Man!! Reno Fontayne!!!

JR: Reno is giving praise to Box, that is the sign of a true champion King!
King: I don't trust him! This is Reno were talking about!! He used to light people on fire!!
JR: Religion can change people King!!

Reno: Tonite, Reverend Reno is facing Headhunter!! I was slapping this guy around when most of you were still living in your parents basement. Oh wait most of you still live in your parents basements!! I'm sore, I'm busted up Hell Box just about crushed my larynx. So I want to apologize but I'm gonna have to put Headhunter down easy! I just don't have it in me to give you guys my best. So maybe next time North Carolina! But tonite your just gonna get Reno Light!!! WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

JR: Reno's planning on putting Headhunter down quick tonite!
King: Something doesn't smell right!!
JR: Maybe it was that Sardine sandwich you had for lunch??

The Judge hits Myers.
The cheers for The Judge are drowning out the boos.
The Judge punches Myers.
Myers punches The Judge.
Myers kicks The Judge.
Myers acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him.
Myers punches The Judge.
Myers acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him.
Myers sends The Judge into the turnbuckle.
Myers runs shoulder-first into the corner.
Myers hits The Judge.
Myers kicks The Judge.
Myers kicks The Judge.
Myers goes for a boot to face, but The Judge blocks it.
The Judge runs into the ropes.
Myers hits The Judge with a clothesline.

JR: Myers hoists The Judge up for a powerbomb but The Judge counters it into a hurricanrana! Myers gets back to his feet but The Judge kicks him in the stomach, runs against the ropes, and executes a scissors kick! The Judge goes to the top turnbuckle and the crowd begins to cheer!

King: They know what's coming JR, the Gavel Smash!

JR: As Myers slowly gets back up to his feet, The Judge leaps off the turnbuckle and hits the Gavel Smash on Myers! The Judge pins Myers as the crowd cheers.

Earl Hepner counts: One, two, three.
The Judge is starting to get more cheers than boos.

*DING DING*

LILLY: This contest is scheduled for one fall.

Fighting out of Tucson, AZ...
Weighing in at 263 pounds...

Tamer

LILLY: His opponent...
Hailing from Chicago, IL...
Weighing in at 190 pounds...

"Mr. Persistance" Tai Hashi

*DING DING*

JR: There's the bell!
Tamer whips Tai Hashi into the ropes.
Tamer hits Tai Hashi with a clothesline.
Tai Hashi goes for a stiff karate kick to the head, but Tamer
ducks out of the way.
Tamer executes the The Whip on Tai Hashi.
The crowd is cheering on Tamer.
Tamer goes for the pin.
Jack Slone counts: One, two, three.
The crowd is cheering on Tamer.

*DING DING*

(Suddenly the screen turns black and the sound of laughing begins.)

Voice: Doubt breeds fear.

(A flash of the number one appears)

Voice: Fear breeds defeat.

(We see the figure of a large man in the shadows.)

Voice: How sure are you...

(The figure leans forward. It is Sebastain Clarke. He looks ticked off.)

Sebastain Clarke: Let the countdown begin.

5..4..3..2..COMING HOME SOON!

(FIRE ERUPTS ON SCREEN AS THE NUMBER ONE FLASHES)

Sebastain Clarke (vo): Who is safe?

(The lights come back up in the arena the fans go nuts)

King: Did you see that JR!

JR: Sebastain Clarke, aka the One, is coming back to the BMWF!

King: That monster is coming back!

LILLY: This contest is scheduled for one fall.

Fighting out of Croydon, London, England...
Weighing in at 302 pounds...

The Headhunter

LILLY: His opponent...
From New Orleans, LA...
Weighing in at 240 pounds...

"Pretty Boy" Reno Fontayne

(A spinning globe appears on the bruisertron the globe zooms larger on the screen before stopping on a highway sign that reads HELL Population 3.)

PA: GOING MY WAY?!?!?!?!?

("Highway to Hell" rips into the North Carolina night for the second time tonite. The fans stand to there feet as a burst of pyro ignites on the bruisertron exposing Reno Fontayne. Fontayne is wearing his normal black leather wrestling tights and a white "The Church" tee shirt. Reno stands in the center of the bruisertron ramp before he slowly climbs into the ring,)

JR: Reno appears to not be physically up to this match tonite!
King: Box beat the snot out of him last week.

*DING DING*

JR: There's the bell!
Reno Fontayne runs into the ropes.
Reno Fontayne hits The Headhunter with a shoulderblock.
Reno Fontayne goes for a bulldog, but The Headhunter counters it with
a back suplex.
The Headhunter covers Reno Fontayne.
Al Johnson counts: One, two, shoulder up.
The Headhunter smacks Reno Fontayne with a devastating flying clothesline .
The Headhunter nails Reno Fontayne with a sidewalk slam.
The Headhunter hits Reno Fontayne with a fallaway slam.
The Headhunter nails Reno Fontayne with a flying headbutt.
Al Johnson counts: One, two, kickout.
Reno Fontayne begs off.

JR: Reno is being dominated by Headhunter tonite!
King: Sometimes it's just better to take the night off JR!!

(Headhunter whips Reno into the ropes. Reno's head snaps back hard as Headhunter levels him with a devestating clothesline. Headhunter begins to play to the crowd as he continues to stomp the fallen Fontayne.)

JR: Reno should have just taken the night off! He's just not up to this tonite!
King: I gotta agree JR, He's really taking a beating in there!

(Reno is lifted into the air by Headhunter and driven to the mat with a devestating press slam.)

JR: Headhunter is measuring him for that big elbow!!
King: Nobody Home!!

(Reno rolls out of the way at the last second. Headhunter drives his elbow into the mat and howls in pain he hits where his former target was.)

JR: Reno was playing possum King!
King: What is with you and road kill!!

(Reno kicks headhunter square in the face sending a shutter of pain thru Headhunters body.)

JR: Reno has Headhunter up!
King: Look out below!

(Reno drops Headhunter onto his back with a quick belly to back suplex. Reno stays attached to Headhunter as he pulls him up again and drops him back on his head three more times.)

JR: Chain belly to back suplex's by Fontayne!
King: Headhunter is on Dream street!

(Reno pulls the wobbily headhunter to his feet. Reno slowly raises his hands into the air motioning toward the sky. Reno locks his arms around the neck of Headhunter and runs toward the ring corner. Reno runs up the turnbuckle launching himself over top rope staying attached to Headhunter hitting a vicious top rope quillotine hangman on headhunter.)

JR: MY GOD!! He just tried to pop Headhunters head off!!
King: Headhunters head off!! That's kinda like a double negative!!

(Reno rolls back into the ring lifting The Headhunter back to his feet again. Reno begins yelling something at Headhunter. In an instant Reno has spun around leveling Headhunter with a vicious.)

JR: RENO CUTTER!!! RENO CUTTER!!

Reno Fontayne goes for the pin.
Al Johnson counts: One, two, three.
The crowd is really behind Reno Fontayne.

*DING DING*

("Rough Ryder's Anthem" by DMX begins to play as the lights in the arena go out. White Lightning steps out onto the stage with a spotlight on him. He has the All-American Title around his waist. He walks down the ramp and enters the ring. The music stops and the lights turn back on as White Lightning grabs a mic.)

White Lightning: All Right, All Right! The reason, I'm out to is tell you something. You see, I've heard it through the grapevine so to speak that Tai Hashi thinks he can beat me for my All-American Title. Basically, he wants to challenge me. Of Course, I know most of you see him as worthy challenger, but I don't agree. Tonight I will start a three-part series to show you why Tai Hashi is not the man or the challenger that you think he is. Our first part will show that Tai Hashi is not some big "rockstar" that he claims to be. He has been lying to the fans his whole career. This segment opens with myself at New York City. Enjoy and you'll definitely learn something.

(The Scene opens in downtown New York City where White Lightning is getting out of a Taxi.)

White Lightning: Let's see, New York City is a place where you can find anything! Right Now we are in front of the "All Music" Shop. It's a known fact that they will have or know of every music artist in the entire world. Let's enter and see if Tai Hashi is really what he claims to be.

(White Lightning enters the "All Music" Shop. He begins to walk down some of the aisles when he stops.)

White Lightning: Let's see Tai Hashi, claimed to be a rockstar, so let's check the rock section.

(White Lightning proceeds to walk over the Rock Music section. He begins searching for the letter "H" for the last name "Hashi". Obviously, he can not find any CD's done by Tai Hashi.)

White Lightning: This is no use, I'll ask the manager to look into their All Music Computer which lists every Artist in the World.

(White Lightning walks to the front of the store and approaches the manager.)

White Lightning: Excuse Me, I need you to look up an artist for me.

Manager: Which one?

White Lightning: Tai Hashi

(The Manager Types the name into the computer.)

Manager: Sorry, Nothing is coming up. Theirs is a very good chance that this artist doesn't exist if he doesn't come up in the computer.

White Lightning: Interesting…. Try typing in "BMWF". Maybe his CD was associated with them.

(The Manager types in the name.)

Manager: All that came up was "Religious Classics" done by The Church of Legends.

White Lightning: Ok, Speaking of that Religious Classics, have you sold many of those?

Manager: No, we haven't even sold one copy!

White Lightning: Well, thanks for your time, you have been a great help!

(White Lightning exits the store and stops at the Taxi door.)

White Lightning: Well People, it looks Tai Hashi the "Rockstar" doesn't exist. Just to make sure, we have one more journey to make.

(The Camera fades at this point and re-opens in an airport.)

White Lightning: You see, Tai Hashi was calling himself a rock star the minute he walked into the BMWF. Apparently he came to the BMWF from Japan. We are going to take a trip over to Japan and ask everyone if they know who he is.

(The Camera fades again as this point and re-opens in the downtown area of a Japanese City. White Lightning is standing in front of a Japanese Music Store. White Lightning enters and immediately walks over the Manager.)

White Lightning: Excuse me, Do you know of a famous Japanese rock star named Tai Hashi?

Manager: (In Japanese) I don't know who the hell you are talking about?

White Lightning: Thanks a lot, well that does it!

(White Lightning exits the store and the camera fades…)

(Back at the arena, White Lightning is laughing.)

White Lightning: You see People, he has lied to each and every one of you. He is a fraud! One thing he definitely is not is a Rock Star. And this one reason why Tai Hashi does not deserve a shot at the All American Title. I won't speak for everyone, but the evidence is there. Join me Next week as we discuss Tai Hashi's wrestling skills!

("Rough Ryder's Anthem" by DMX begins to play as White Lightning exits the ring to the backstage area.)

(Mafioso is standing outside his locker room waiting for Michael Bole to
show up when Mark Floyd comes walking up to Mafioso with mic in hand and
cameraman following)

Mafioso: Mark Floyd!?! Is this really how low I've sunk?

Floyd: Hey! What do you mean by that?

Mafioso: I meant to say..What happened to Bole? I thought he was doing this
interview.

Floyd: He's real busy tonight so I'm helping out. So did you want to get
this interview started?

Mafioso: I don't really like you let's make this quick.

(Mafioso looks into the camera)

Mafioso: Ash! All I have to say is this: It sure was fun beating the hell
out of you a while back and I'm sure I'll enjoy beating the hell out of you
tonight also essa! See ya out there homie!

(Mafioso walks back into his room and slams the door behind him)

(As Mafioso makes his way to the ring for his match with Ash, he’s jumped from behind.)

JR: Ladies and gentlemen Mafioso has been jumped from behind on his way to his match.

King: I think it might have just started a bit early JR.

(A length of chain wraps around Mafioso’s neck and pulls him backwards and the camera cuts back to show Ash wrenching in the chain and cutting off the blood supply of Mafioso.)

King: I knew it JR, that dirty cheat.

JR: You were definitely right King, Ash appears he can’t for Mafioso to make his way to the ring.

(Ash reaches over and grabs Carlos by the collar and drives a fist into his gut. Carlos begins to shake violently and goes limp. Ash drops him to the ground revealing a tazer in his hand. Ash gives Mafioso a shock then pulls out a roll of duct tape. He covers Carlos’s mouth and tapes up his hands and ankles. Ash looks around and opening a utility closet throws Carlos into it. He moves a crate in front of the door and turns he attention back to Mafioso.)

JR: Ash has taken out Mafioso’s manager and is now focused on the stranded Mafioso.

King: Somebody needs to tell the urban legends what is happening.

(Ash rears back and whips Mafioso across the back with the chain. He brings the chain down again and again across the back of Mafioso. Ash leans down and wraps the chain around Mafioso’s neck. Ash reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lock and locks a loop tightly around Mafioso’s neck. Mafioso struggles to loosen the chain as Ash wraps the opposite end around his hand and begins to drag Mafioso down the hallway.)

JR: Ash is literally dragging Mafioso to the ring King. I can’t tell if he’s trying to get to his match or take Mafioso out ahead of time.

(Ash drags Mafioso stumbling towards the ring area and pulling his weight whips Mafioso into a food services table splintering it and covering Mafioso with food and syrupy soft drinks. Ash grabs the chain up again and pulls Mafioso towards him and drives a hard boot into his stomach. Ash pulls Mafioso in close and pulling him upwards drops him into the Lockdown onto the cold concrete of the backstage area.)

JR: Good Lord, Ash just executed the Lockdown on Mafioso. I cannot believe these tactics King.

King: Can’t believe it? Ash hasn’t been much for the rules before, why wouldn’t you believe it.

(Ash grabs the chain and drags the barely conscious Mafioso leaving a slight red smear from the blood trickling from the head of Mafioso. Ash gets to the stairs up to the entrance ramp and pulls Mafioso up and slinging him over one shoulder makes his way up the stairs. The camera cuts to the entrance way.)

LILLY: This contest is scheduled for one fall.

Led to the ring by Carlos "Right-Hand Man" Ramirez...
Fighting out of Mexico City...
Weighing in at 235 pounds...

Mafioso

(Mobb Deep's Quiet Storm begins to play over the PA system. The Bruisertron
lights up and the words ABOVE THE LAW scroll across the screen followed by
the URBAN LEGENDS logo. A shower of sparks starts to rain down onto the top
of the ramp as Mafioso comes rolling out of the back and lays motionless at the top of the ramp way bathed in his own pyrotechnics.

LILLY:…and his opponent…
Fighting out of San Quentin Correctional Facility...
Weighing in at 240 pounds...

Ash

PA: CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES…THIS IS MY LAST RESORT
(Ash walks out from the back and stops at the top of the ramp standing over Mafioso. Ash reaches down and unlocks the lock and then locks it back up and the end of the chain.)
JR: Ash has ambushed Mafioso backstage King and I cannot believe that this match will actually continue.
King: If the match was this as lopsided as this attack has been I can’t imagine it’d be very interesting.
(Ash whips Mafioso with this lock weighted chain digging into Mafioso’s skin and dragging a scream from his lips. Ash kicks and whips Mafioso down the rampway and towards the ring. Ash rolls Mafioso into the ring and signals for a mic.
Ash: MAFIOSO…. LISTEN GOOD! I would never have crossed your path if you hadn’t brought this upon yourself. You reap what you sow three fold Mafioso, so why don’t you be a man and get to you feet and make a match out of this. You want to claim you’re a champion, then stand up and fight like one.

*DING DING* JR: There's the bell!

(Ash pulls Mafioso to his feet and Mafioso swats him away and staggers back. Mafioso fights off the pain and comes after Ash. Ash steps to the side and drives a foot into the stomach of Mafioso doubling him over. Ash steps back and drives a boot into the side Mafioso’s head sending him to the mat.

JR: Mafioso is trying to mount an attack King, but after all that has happened to him in the last few minutes I’m not surprised he’s struggling.

King: I hate this kid JR, but it takes guts to keep trying.

JR: Ash whips Mafioso into the ropes.
Ash goes for a chokehold, but Mafioso blocks it.
Mafioso hits a Russian legsweep on Ash.
The crowd is going "We want Earl Hepner !".
Mafioso takes Ash down with a spinebuster.
Mafioso executes a spinebuster on Ash.
Mafioso uses a superkick on Ash.
Mafioso goes for a pumphandle slam, but Ash blocks it.
Ash nails Mafioso with a snap mare.
Ash hits Mafioso with a gutwrench suplex.

(Ash drags the staggering Mafioso by the hair and whips him into the ropes. Ash follows in and connects with a devastating clothesline that takes Mafioso off his feet and lands hard on his back. Ash continues into the ropes and using the second rope as a springboard leaps off and lands on Mafioso with an elbow across his throat.)

JR: A rare high impact move off the ropes from Ash.

King: Somebody needs to tell him that higher impact doesn’t make for higher ratings.

(Ash gets to his feet and drags the limp Mafioso to his feet. Ash pulls him backwards into a reverse DDT position and drags a thumb across his throat.)

JR: Ash is signaling for the Lethal Injection.

(Ash grabs a handful of Mafioso’s pants and lifts Mafioso up and falling backwards executes the maneuver.)

JR: LETHAL INJECTION ON MAFIOSO

(Ash goes for the cover.)

(Ash rolls out of the ring and grabs a steel chair. Ash rolls back into the ring with the steel chair and begins to viciously beat Mafioso with the chair.)

JR: Ash is uncontrollably beating Mafioso with that chair, somebody needs to put a stop to this.

King: This is the sickening, I love it.

(Ash continues to beat Mafioso over and over again blooding him and bending the chair into a twisted clump of metal. Ash drops the chair and spits on the bloodied Mafioso. Ash screams at the unconscious Mafioso.)

Ash: You had this coming you *bleep*. Just remember, if you come looking for payback for this, I will bring more of this down on you.

(Ash rolls out of the ring and heads to the back as EMT’s hit the ring to attend to Mafioso.)

JR: We'll be right back!

LILLY: This contest is scheduled for one fall.

Introducing first...
Hailing from Breaux Bridge, LA...
Weighing in at 346 pounds...

Levon "The Truck" Jones

LILLY: His opponent...
Hailing from Los Angeles...
Weighing in at 267 pounds...

The BMWF TV Champion...
Shane "Sy" Perish

(All the lights in the arena go dark. Suddenly a blinding flash goes off
with a thunderous boom. Blue laser lights go over the crowd accompanied by
golden strobes.)

PA: It's your time to Perish!!!

("Superstar 2" by Saliva hits the PA system. Shane comes out from behind the
curtain with the T.V. title wrapped around his waist. Jacklyn J. follows him
out. The boo's are shaking the building.)

JR: Our T.V. Champion loves the hate they give him King.

King: He knows they are all jealous JR.

(Shane and Jacklyn J. walk down the ramp Shane and Jacklyn walk up the
stairs and get in the ring. Shane takes off his title and hands it to the
referee. Shane kisses Jacklyn and helps her out of the ring and waits for
the bell.)

*DING DING*

JR: There's the bell!
Shane Perish goes for a backdrop, but Levon Jones blocks it.
Levon Jones whips Shane Perish into the turnbuckle, but Shane Perish
reverses it.
Shane Perish charges in with a boot to face.
Shane Perish nails Levon Jones with neckbreaker.
Shane Perish locks Levon Jones in the Texas Cloverleaf.
Levon Jones is struggling to reach the ropes.
Shane Perish lets go after 13 seconds.
Shane Perish beats on his chest.
Shane Perish is met with a mixture of cheers and boos.
Shane Perish gives the sign for the Perisher.
Shane Perish executes the Perisher on Levon Jones.
The audience doesn't quite know how to react to Shane Perish.
Shane Perish goes for the pin.
Al Johnson counts: One, two, three.
Shane Perish is starting to get more cheers than boos.

*DING DING*

LILLY: This contest is a non-title match scheduled for one fall.

Hailing from Jacksonville, NC...
Weighing in at 256 pounds...

The BMWF Intercontinental Champion...
Hardcore Harry

LILLY: His opponent...
Hailing from Parts Unknown...
Weighing in at 242 pounds...

Ezekiel

(The BruiserTron lights up, revealing a computerized
representation of the solar system.)

(The shot starts
to zoom in, traveling past Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, and
all the other planets as it homes in on Earth. We
break through the atmosphere, clouds parting, as the
focus sets on the continent of North America. We pull
in closer, as a glowing outline surrounds North
America. Closer still, and the state of California is
highlighted. Closer and closer...southern California.
Faster and faster we zoom in until, in a rush of
colour and light, we find ourselves landing right in
front of the Prime Time Mansion! Cue the music!
"Prime Time" by Promoe begins to play, but it is a
peppier, bouncier, swinging version, baby! Cut to
face shots of all the members of Prime Time, with
appropriate captions to designate their names.
Everyone is giving goofy, sitcom smiles to the camera
as the music plays. Except for Headhunter and Tyrone.
Starring...Tamer...Kolic...The Headhunter....Tyrone Smith..
And Starring as themselves Kate and Mr. Beauregarde.
The credits wrap up; telling us this is "A Prime Time Production.")

(The camera shows Tyrone in his room watching Chappelle's Show. All of a
sudden, the channel changes to Martha Stewart Living.)

Tyrone: What da rass?!?

(Tyrone quickly changes the channel back. After a minute, the channel
changes back to Martha Stewart. Tyrone once again changes the channel, and
again, it goes back to MSL. After a few minutes of this, Tyrone is visibly
angry.)

Tyrone. Dis (BLEEP)ing TV...whos out dere?!?

(Tyrone looks down the hallway, but no one's there)

Tyrone: When I find out who da fu...NOT AGAIN!

(Tyrone changes back to Chappelle's Show, then looks around for someone. He
sees the channel still on the Show and sits in his chair again. Then...well,
you know.)

Tyrone: NOW I'M (BLEEP)ED! DIS MUTHA RASS T'INKS HE'S FUNNY!!

(Tyrone throws the remote at the TV, causing it to turn off. Tyrone gets
up...and the TV turns on. Tyrone, bulging with rage, stomps to the TV...and
hears laughter. It seems to be coming from next door. Tyrone storms out of
the room and kicks open the next door, revealing Kolic and Tamer laughing
their butts off.)

Kolic: HAHAHAHA! I told you I'd get him back!

Tyrone: YOU!!!

Tamer: Oh, crap!

(Tyrone charges at Tamer, who ducks under Tyrone's arm and runs out the
window. Tyrone glares at Kolic, backing him into a corner.)

Kolic: Tyrone...it was just a joke...

Tyrone: A joke?! Smart boy says he got jokes! Ya wanna play 'round wit' da
d@mn HA HA an' (beep)?! Son, I don't know where da rass yer @$$ was raised,
but where I'm from I'd smack da (beep) out yer parents for havin' ya!

(Tamer screams from off camera)

Tamer: We're so *bleeped*

Tyrone: An' Joshie boy, let me catch yer @$$ today... I'll elbow drop Kolic
back into da womb an' suplex ya back into a sperm an' egg! (points at Kolic)
Ya find dis (beep) funny?! DO YA?! Tell me, funny man, tell me a'other joke!

Kolic: Well...all I have to say is...bye!

(Kolic presses a button on a wall, revealing a trap door that Kolic
immediately jumps into. Tyrone tries to grab Kolic but misses, then almost
jumps in the trap door but realizes it's too small for him.)

Tyrone: (Mumbles) Mudda rass funny man... Must not know... I'm Rick James!

(The scene opens out by the pool. Tamer is barbequing ribs Tyrone is on a
raft in the pool. Kate is laying poolside getting a tan. Clancy is in a
chair in the shade reading. Headhunter is under water holding his breath.
Kolic is timing Headhunter with the Guinness Worl Records web site on his
lap top.)

Kolic: One minute so far Headhunter is amazing. Only like two more days to
go.

Tamer: What!

Kolic: the record is forty-nine hours.

Tamer: Let me see that.

(Tamer walks over.)

Tamer: Kolic! You're looking at binary code.

Kolic: the other site was boring. So I made up a number and decided to see
if Headhunter could hold his breath that long.

(Tamer shoves Kolic in the pool. Headhunter comes up for air.)

Headhunter: How'd I do?

Tyrone: Da was never a record.

Clancy: You got bamboozled.

(Kolic comes up.)

Kolic: that was not cool Tamer!

Headhunter: Excuse us!

(Headhunter grabs Kolic head and shoves it under water.)

Tyrone: If dis raft gets flipped someone's gonna die! Yo Tamer, don' forget
I like dat (bleep) crispy.

Kate: I usually like it rawer.

(Tamer and Tyrone both look at Kate.)

Tyrone: Hey sweet heart ya wanna see what I've done with my.

Tamer: Tyrone!

Tyrone: Dawg!

Tamer: Come on now.

Tyrone: Ruin da brotha's fun why don' ya.

(Tamer goes back to the grill. The scene zooms out showing all of Prime Tme
kicking back together as we fade.)

FADE