BMWF Bedlam Part III

Date : 12/22/03
Time : 7:30 PM
Venue : Rose Garden Portland Oregon

PA: DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'?

(The Rock's theme plays as The Great One steps through the curtains and onto the stage.)

JR: It's Commissioner Rock!

KING: I think he's going to make some more Lethal Lottery matches for Season's Beatings!

(Rock stops on the stage and takes a big whiff of the People's cheers, then heads to the ring. Once there, he climbs into the ring. He goes to the other side of the ring, climbs to the second turnbuckle, raises his fist, then takes another whiff of the People''s cheers. He repeats this in all four corners, then grabs the mic. The music dies off. Rock pauses as the crowd chants...)

CROWD: ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!

(Rock slowly lifts the mic to his mouth and leans his head back.)

ROCK: FINALLY...THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO PORTLAND!!!

(Huge crowd pop.)

JR: These fans love the Rock!

KING: that's ok, but I hope they don't start chanting, "RCW! RCW!"

ROCK: Now, let Commissioner The Rock get down to business. Let me introduce my lovely assistant who will bring out the hat full of names!

KING: YAHOO! PUPPIES!

ROCK: Come on out here, lovely assistant!

(Suddenly, there's a screeching of tires and a crash. A familiar tune plays.)

JR: OH, MY! IT'S CACTUS DOVE!!!

(Dove's music plays as he wobbles to the ring in his traditional Goodwill reject clothing. He is carrying the hat full of names. Rock is looking at Cactus with a shocked look on his face.)

KING: YAHHH! That's no lovely assistant!

JR: Cactus Dove! One of the original BMWFers!

(Dove gets in the ring and works the crowd. The music dies off. Rock still looks shocked!)

KING: I don't think Rock was expecting this!

ROCK: What in the blue hell are you doing here, you sick ugly hermaphrodite freak?! Where's my lovely assistant?

DOVE: Lovely? Golly, Rock, I thought you said, "Dovely," so here I am right here in PORTLAND!!!! (Huge cheap crowd pop.)

ROCK: Well, The Rock says that you'd better know your role and just stand there and hold that hat and shut your mouth!

DOVE: OK, Rock!

ROCK: OK, The Rock is going to pull out the first two names for the next Lethal Lottery match at Season's Beatings. (He pulls out a name.) Tyrone Smith!

KING: YAHH!

ROCK: And his partner will be...(He pulls out a name)...THE DAW...No, no! Even the Rock isn't that cruel...His partner will be...Tamer!!

KING: Wow! They just had a big match and are both seeing sexy Rachel Pitt!

ROCK: And their opponents...(He pulls out a name)...The Judge...

JR: Oh, my!

ROCK: And his partner will be...(He pulls out a name)...Hardcore Harry!!

KING: YAHHH!

ROCK: Now, if Harry and Judge happen to win their match and Harry goes on to win the World title later that night, then Lowedown will take Harry's place in the Bedlam Bowl!

JR: That sounds fair!

ROCK: Now, for the next jabroni match...(He pulls out a name)...Latino Heat!

KING: YAHH!

ROCK: His partner...(He pulls out a name)...Ryus..Rya...How do you pronounce his name, jabroni?

DOVE: Ry...

ROCK: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU PRONOUNCE HIS NAME!! The Rock will pronounce it like this......Ryushi Fujita!

JR: That's how you pronounce it!

ROCK: Now, their opponents...(He pulls out a name)...Asylum!

KING: Who will his partner be?

ROCK: and his partner will be...(He pulls out a name)...The Dawg!!

KING: YAHHH!

ROCK: Now let the get this straight! There should be enough names left in the hat for one more match...(He pulls out a name)...Kurt Dangle!

KING: YAHOO!

ROCK: And his partner...(He pulls out a name)...Dozer Phillips!

JR: Well, what do you know? They're already a tag team!

ROCK: And their jabroni opponents...(He pulls out a name)...Truck!

KING: Rock was right! Jabronies! HA HA!

ROCK: And his partner...(He pulls out a name)...Ultimate Guerrero!!

JR: Oh, my!

KING: See?

ROCK: Well, that about takes care of the Lethal...

DOVE: Uh, excuse me, Mr. Commissioner The Rock, but there are still four names in the hat.

ROCK: Don't tell the Rock that you put the women's names in this hat?

DOVE: No, but I did put all their phone numbers in your little black book.

ROCK: Oh, good. But whose four names are in the hat? Not the low-carders?

DOVE: Draw them and see, sir!

ROCK: OK, the next jabroni is...(He pulls out a name)...HOLLYWOOD HULKSTER!! (crowd goes wild)

JR: OH, MY!

ROCK: That's ok. You put in a BMWF legend. That's cool! The Rock digs that a legends match, right?

DOVE: Sure! Why not?

ROCK: OK, let the Rock see who Hulkster's partner is going to be!...(He pulls out a name)...What in the...???

KING: Who is it?

ROCK: Is this jabroni even still alive?

DOVE: No, but that's never stopped him before! It's DARKLORD!!! (crowd goes wild)

KING: YAHHH!

JR: Oh,my! Darklord and Hollywood Hulkster teaming at Season's Beatings!

KING: But who will their opponents be?

ROCK: OK, let the Rock draw the last two names...(He pulls out a name. He looks shocked.)...what in the blue..?

DOVE: You've already used that catchphrase. Let me read this one...it's THE ROCK!!!

JR: What the..?!

KING: YAHOO! Rock is going to wrestle!!

ROCK: Listen, jabroni! The Rock is the Commissioner. The Rock doesn't wrestler anymore!

DOVE: Why not?

ROCK: Because the Rock has to protect the people's strudel from getting damaged! You know how those Hollywood babes and execs are!

DOVE: Just one more match, Rock! Come on! Do it for the people!

CROWD: ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!

ROCK: OK, The Rock will do this for the people! The Rock will take Hollywood Hulkster...shine up that ugly wrinkled bald head...and stick Hollywood straight up Darklord's dead candy @$$!!

(Huge pop.)

KING: YAHHH! What a horrible sight! Hollywood dangling out of the Darklord's rear end!

DOVE: That's awesome, Commish, but there's one more name in this hat! Your partner's name!

JR: Who will it be?

KING: Bruiser! Yes! That's got to be it!

JR: Or maybe Pain!

KING: YAHHH! Maybe it's me! YES! LET IT BE ME!!

ROCK: OK, the Rock will draw his partner's name......(Rock pulls out a name. He looks at it, give his "hammed" shocked look, then a look of utter disbelief. )

DOVE: Let me see! Let me see! (Rock hands Dove the name. Dove smiles a toothless smile to all the fans as they are going wild!)

KING: Who is it?! Tell us!

DOVE: And the Rock's partner is....ME!! CACTUS DOVE!!! (Crowd goes wild.)

JR: Oh, my gosh! THE ROCK-AND-SUCK CONNECTION IS BACK!!

(Dove's music plays as he walks around happy and the Rock looks on in disgust.)

KING: Oh, no! we could see the return of Mr. Sucko!

JR: What's gonna happen next?!

LILLY: This contest is a non-title match scheduled for one fall.

From Hershey, PA...
Weighing in at 395 pounds...

The Dawg

(The bruisertron lights up to show the taco bell dog sitting out in the woods, and wearing his camouflage-hunting suit. In his hands he holds a 30-06 with a scope. He sits quietly waiting until one of Santa’s reign deer comes walking up. The little dog aims the rifle and BOOM!, shoots at the deer. The deer moves just in time to miss the bullet and then starts looking for where the shot came from. Spotting the taco bell dog sitting on the ground, the deer lowers his antlers and charges the little dog, flipping him high into the air. When the taco bell dog hits the ground, he jumps behind a tree out of harms way.)

Taco bell dog: Dammmm!!!!! You reign deer have an attitude problem.



(The lights in the arena dim down and one spot light shines up on the stage, as Santa walks out waving to the fans.)



JR: I thought he had to go?

King: Maybe he forgot to give me my real present.



(Santa stops waving and rushes behind the curtains. Just as he gets out of sight, out walks The Dawg dressed in a skintight body suit that looks like gift-wrapping paper. He looks over his shoulder and then turns to the crowd.)

The Dawg: That was Santa Clause!



(The fans all start cheering.)



The Dawg: He didn’t stop so I could give him my Christmas list.



King: Poor Dawg, now he’ll only get cheap dog food for Christmas.



(The Dawg slaps his belly a few times and runs down the ramp and rolls under the bottom rope.)


LILLY: His opponent...
Fighting out of Miami, FL...
Weighing in at 240 pounds...

The BMWF U.S. Champion...
Ignition

(“TNT” hits as the stage fills up with smoke.)

JR: Alright everyone, the Best Young Gun the BMWF has to offer is about to
make his was down here for a match!

King: And while he is doing that, I think I might take a nap.

JR: Don’t be ridiculous King!

(The smoke disappears and Ignition is left standing on the top of the ramp
with his US title held high in the air. Ignition has on his holiday colored
ring attire. Ignition poses for the fans then starts making his way down to
the ring. When Ignition gets ringside he slides into the center of the ring
and motions for a mic, and one is tossed)

Ignition: Portland!!! CAN YA HEAR ME!!

Crowd: YEAH!!!

Ignition: Now, I am not here tonight just to wrestle, in fact, I am never
here JUST to wrestle. I come out here night after night to entertain you
all! Since it’s the Christmas season, and I am all duttied up, you are in
for a special treat. I am going to make the Dawg look like a fool, while I
make myself look like a Christmas saint. Let’s do this, and lets do it with
style!

*DING DING*

JR: There's the bell.

JR: Both of these men know how to do it, but the first person who goes on
the offense tonight might just take it home. These two wrestlers are
circling each other right now looking for weaknesses.

(Ignition kicks Dawg in the stomach and whips him towards the ropes. The
Dawg bounces off and Ignition hits him in the mid-section with a knee!)

:JR: Ignition has the Dawg down!

King: The Dawg has just hurt that precious belly of his! Poor guy!

(Ignition climbs the turnbuckle to the second rope, and jumps with an elbow
drop!)

JR: Ignition looking solid early! Not taking to many risks and
systematically taking the Dawg out!

King: Yeah, but he needs to do a lot more than this to beat Dawg! Remember
last time! HAHAHA! Dawg fell on Ignition!

(Ignition grabs the Dawg’s fat legs and looks at the crowd and holds up four
fingers!)

JR: The crowd knows what that means!! Igniton has the figure-four leg-lock
on now!!! Dawg is reaching for the ropes but he has a ways to go!!

(Ignition is wrenching back on the hold! The Dawg tries to turn the hold
over!)

JR: Dawg almost turns the hold over, but Ignition is too technically sound
to be beat at his own game by the Dawg! Dawg looks like he is inching
towards the ropes!

King: Ignition can do all the training he wants, the Dawg will always be
stronger!

JR: By stronger, do you mean fatter?

(DAWG HAS THE ROPES)

JR: Ignition has to break the hold, but the damage may already be done!

Ignition whips The Dawg into the ropes, but The Dawg reverses it.
The Dawg hits Ignition with a clothesline.
Ignition falls out of the ring.
Charles Robertson counts: one, Ignition reenters the ring.
The Dawg whips Ignition into the ropes.
Ignition misses with a kick.
The Dawg misses with a kick.
Ignition hits The Dawg with an elbow.
Ignition whips The Dawg into the ropes.
The Dawg smacks Ignition with a devastating clothesline .
The Dawg runs into the ropes.
The Dawg hits Ignition with a clothesline.

JR: The Dawg runs and dives at Ignition nailing him in the gut with a head butt that takes both men to the mat. The Dawg gets on top and smashes Ignitions face with a right fist. He then locks both hands around Iggy’s throat and starts choking the life out of him. The ref. calls for the break, so The Dawg releases the hold and slaps Ignition.

JR: That was uncalled for. Why’d he slap him?

King: Maybe the boy had a fly on his face.

JR: The Dawg goes for a headbutt, but Ignition blocks it.
Ignition goes for a double arm DDT, but The Dawg blocks it.
The Dawg goes for a hiptoss, but Ignition counters it with a lariat.
Ignition catches The Dawg in a sleeperhold.
The Dawg is valiantly trying to break the hold.
The Dawg makes it to the ropes after holding out for 7 seconds.
Ignition nails The Dawg with an armbar takedown.
Ignition executes an armbar takedown on The Dawg.
Ignition is going for the cover.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, kickout.
Ignition whips The Dawg into the ropes.
Ignition hits The Dawg with a clothesline.

JR: The Dawg puts Ignition in a bear hug and squeezes with all his might. Ignition wenches at the pain in his lower back as he tries to get free. The Dawg drives him backwards into the corner and pins him against the turnbuckles. He then drives in a shoulder to the gut, and then another. The Dawg nails him with an eye gouge and brings him out of the corner with a hip toss that lands Ignition in the center of the ring. As Ignition lies there whimpering, The Dawg comes up and nails him with a knee drop to the chest. Ignition rolls over to avoid another knee, but The Dawg plants a big boot in the middle of his back.

(The fans start cheering for The Dawg as he works over Ignition.)

The Dawg hits Ignition with an armbreaker.
The Dawg nails Ignition with an armbreaker.
The Dawg hits Ignition with a chop.
The Dawg hits Ignition with a hiptoss.
The Dawg runs into the ropes.
The Dawg hits Ignition with a kick.
The Dawg takes Ignition down with a chop.
The Dawg whips Ignition into the ropes, but Ignition reverses it.
Ignition smacks The Dawg with a devastating clothesline .
Ignition executes the Exhaustion on The Dawg.
The Dawg breaks the hold after 12 seconds.
The Dawg punches Ignition.
Ignition chops The Dawg.
The crowd is behind Ignition all the way.
Ignition punches The Dawg.
The crowd is behind Ignition all the way.
The Dawg hits Ignition.

JR: Ignition comes off the ropes only to see the bottom of The Dawgs boot that nails him in the chest and puts him on his back. The Dawg pulls him to his feet by his hair, and whips him back into the ropes. This time as Iggy comes off The Dawg greets him with a power slam. The Dawg drags him to his feet again, presses him up over his head with a show of strength, moves a few steps towards the ropes, and drops him. Ignitions head catches the top rope and almost de-capitates him as it flips him on his back. The Dawg steps up on the second rope and uses it to spring off of and lands the full weight of his 395# Tenderizer right on top of Ignition.

JR: With all that massive weight coming down on you, how could anyone kick out?

King: You can’t kick out, when you can’t breathe.

JR: The Dawg uses one hand and one knee to hold down Ignitions shoulders as the ref. starts to count.

Foot on the ropes!

The Dawg goes for a hiptoss, but Ignition reverses it.
Ignition catches The Dawg in a sleeperhold.
The Dawg makes it to the ropes after being locked up for 5 seconds.
Ignition whips The Dawg into the ropes.
Ignition hits The Dawg with an elbow.
Ignition goes for a figure-four leglock, but The Dawg counters it with
a small package.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, shoulder up.
The Dawg almost takes Ignition's head off with a clothesline
The Dawg goes for a bearhug, but Ignition counters it with a facerake.

(Ignition kicks Dawg in the midsection!)

JR: DOUBLE-ARM DDT!! ITS TIME!!

(Ignition picks Dawg up with all his might and places him on the top rope!
Ignition gets up and places the Dawg’s head between his legs.)

JR: Ignition is trying this again! Last time Dawg fell on him and got the
win!!

(Ignition takes Dawg’s head from between his legs and holds his hand up and
shakes his finger!)

King: HAHA!! You see that JR!! He knows better now!

(Ignition slaps Dawg in the face and lets him drop from the top turnbuckle!)

JR: Ignition hauling Dawg into the middle of the ring now!

(Ignition grabs the Dawg’s legs and clamps on the Exhaustion!!)

JR: Dawg is in trouble now!!! Ignition doesn’t let anyone out of this!!

(The Dawg starts inching towards the ropes and is inches away before
Ignition drags him back in the middle!)

JR: Dawg almost had the ropes! He was so close!!

(Ignition pulls back on the Dawg’s legs as the Dawg starts inching towards
the ropes again!)

JR: THE DAWG IS INCHES AWAYYYY HEEEEEE NO!! NO!! NO!! Ignition is pulling
Dawg back into the middle of the ring again! I think reality is setting in
for the Dawg here, he’s not going anywhere! Look at the sweat beads coming
off the Dawg’s forehead!

(Ignition heaves back on the Dawg’s legs as the Dawg taps out!!)

JR: ITS OVER!!! Ignition pulled this one out here tonight!! What a match!
What a competitor!
There are lots of chants for Ignition.

*DING DING*

LILLY: The winner is Ignition!

JR: We'll be right back!

>>>

(Ryushi Fujita stands backstage in the trainer's room getting his ribs taped up before his match tonight.)

Ryushi Fujita: Whoa, there. Take it easy man, I'm not trying to add to the injuries I already got from Lowedown.

Trainer: Sorry Ryushi. I don't know why you are doing this, you shouldn't even be here tonight. The doctor you saw you Friday night said them same thing to you.

Ryushi Fujita: I know and you're probably both right, but I can't. Tonight is my opportunity to shine in the main event or die trying. And shine I will, so tape me up real good.

(Fade out as the trainer continues to tape Fujita's ribs.)

LILLY: This contest is a six man tag team match scheduled for one fall.

Introducing first...
LoweDown...

PA:BU...BU...BU...BROTHERHOOD WORLD ORDER!

("Fever Dog" by Stillwater begins to play as Lowedown and Flame make their way out of the entrance way to a thunderous ovation. Lowedown wastes no time as he rushes towards the ring and then suddenly stops inches from the apron. Lowedown raises his arms high in the air and gives the Wolfpac signal as Flame takes the World title off of his waist and then watches him leap up on the apron. Pyro shoots out from all four corners as Lowedown then looks around as he gives his patented smirk and then looks towards the entrance way...)

JR:Lowedown isn't too happy about teaming with his former partner Master Z here tonight!

King:Almost as Z is happy to be teaming with Vernon? HAHAHA!

LILLY: His partner...

Master Z

(The lights in the arena dim. Even the Bruisertron goes black. Soon, bright white spotlight illuminate the entrance ramp glimmering off the cold hard steel. "Victory" blasts over the PA system drowning out the low murmer of the audience. The crowd errupts in heavy boos. As if the crowd's discontent was his signal, Master Z emerges from behind the curtain.)

JR: Look at that smirk on Master Z's face! He wants to tear Lowedown's head from his shoulders!

(Master Z continues his stroll towards the ringside area. He makes the referee open the ropes for him to enter.)

JR: Master Z stands in the center of the ring pointing a finger at Lowedown!

KING: I don't know how this is going to work! These two men hate eachother and have beaten on eachother every chance they've gotten for the past few weeks! How are they supposed to wrestle on the same team!

JR: Master Z and Lowedown are getting into eachother's faces badmouthing eachother!

Master Z: Come on Lowe, you want to go right now? Put your hands on me! I dare you!

Lowedown: You're jealous Z! Jealous that you'll never hold this World Title as long as it's around my waist!

(The referee is trying to pry the two apart.)

KING: Let them go at it! I want to see this match now!

JR: Bruiser wouldn't like that, King!

Master Z: Hide behind the referee Lowe, keep hiding from me!

(The referee seperates the two men forcing Master Z to one corner and Lowe to the other. The rest of the combatants are now introduced.)

LILLY: Their partner...
From San Francisco, CA... weighing in at 245 pounds...
"Mr. Showtime" Vernon Vanderbilt

(All the lights in the arena go out, save for a single
spotlight focused on the entranceway.  Slowly, more
spotlights illuminate and turn to join the first,
until every available spotlight is focused at the top
of the ramp.  Rainbow pyros go off as "The Dope Show"
starts to play.  The curtains part.  "Mr. Showtime"
Vernon Vanderbilt steps out and blows a kiss to the
crowd, then points to the stars before heading down to
the ring, accompanied my Mr. Beauregarde and Truck.)


LILLY: Their opponents...
From Jacksonville, NC... weighing in at 256 pounds...
Hardcore Harry

His partner...
From Miami, FL... weighing in at 230 pounds...
The Judge

PA: You are now about to enter the courtroom of THE JUDGE!

(The bWo theme hits as tons of pyros go off around the ramp. The Judge and
The Executioner appear from behind the curtains and begin to make their way down
to the ring to get a mixed reaction from the fans. The Judge is wearing a
black bWo shirt and has the BMWF Hardcore title wrapped around his waist. The two
men enter the ring and The Judge raises his Hardcore title in the air as The
Executioner grabs the mic from the ring announcer. The Executioner hands The
Judge the mic to get a mixed reaction from the crowd.)

Judge: Alright let's face it, the teams are not really evenly stacked here. I
mean, how the hell are Master Z, LoweDown, and Vanderbilt going to beat me?

(There is a mixed reaction from the crowd.)

Judge: I may be stuck with two lame partners, but hopefully they won't be
complete dead sacks and will be able to hold up their side of the team. Boys, I
am warning you, you better not lose this match for us or they will be payback!

(Mixed reaction.)

Judge: Tonight all you lucky fans get to see the unlikely team of The Judge,
Hardcore Harry, and Ryushi Fujita beat the team of Master Z, LoweDown, and
Vernon Vanderbilt, thanks to me of course, and THAT...IS...FINAL!

(The Judge tosses down the mic and waits for his partners and opponents.)

LILLY: Their partner...
From Tokyo, Japan... weighing in at 230 pounds...
Ryushi Fujita

("When the Levee Breaks" by Led Zeppelin begins to play and a single light hits a small mirror ball above the wrestler's entrance, splitting the light into thousands of "diamonds" that swirl across the crowd. A pretty good pop from the crowd greets Ryushi Fujita as he slowly walks out onto the stage area with the BMWF Light Heavyweight Title around his waist. His ribs are taped up from his match on Live with Lowedown as he cautiously makes his way down the aisle and slowly rolls inside the ring. He unbuckles the belt and hands it to the ref before standing in the corner and waits for the match to start.)

*DING DING*

JR: There's the bell.

Vernon and Judge lock up.
Vernon gets Judge in a headlock.
Judge whips Vernon to the ropes.
Vernon comes off the ropes and scores with a cross
body block.
He hooks the leg.
The ref counts: One! Two! Kickout!

JR: Close call there for Judge!

King: Vernon almost laid him...

JR: Now...

King: ...down for the count. You were saying?

JR: Nothing.

King: No. Tell me.

JR: Never mind.

Vernon hits Judge with a flipping legdrop.
Judge gets to his feet.
Vernon whips Judge to the corner.
He follows him in, striking with a cartwheel
clothesline.

They tag out!

Hardcore Harry nails LoweDown with a Russian legsweep.
The arena is exploding in a chorus of boos.
Hardcore Harry runs into the ropes.
LoweDown goes for a flying clothesline, but Hardcore Harry ducks out of the way.
Hardcore Harry executes a Northern Lights suplex on LoweDown.
Len Stanley counts: One, two, kickout.
Hardcore Harry executes the Sky High on LoweDown.
Len Stanley counts: One, shoulder up.
Hardcore Harry hits a Northern Lights suplex on LoweDown.
Len Stanley counts: One, two, in the ropes...
Hardcore Harry hits a sidewalk slam on LoweDown.
Hardcore Harry hits a big boot to the face on LoweDown.
Hardcore Harry goes for a Russian legsweep, but LoweDown counters it with
an elbowsmash.
LoweDown hits Hardcore Harry.
The crowd is giving LoweDown a standing ovation.
Hardcore Harry chops LoweDown.
The arena is exploding in a chorus of boos.
Hardcore Harry nails LoweDown with a sidewalk slam.
Numerous fans are using Hardcore Harry for target practice.
Hardcore Harry gives the sign for the Hardcore Hell.
Hardcore Harry goes for the Hardcore Hell, but he can't do it.
LoweDown tags out to Vernon Vanderbilt.
LoweDown smacks Hardcore Harry with a devastating short clothesline .
Vernon Vanderbilt takes Hardcore Harry down with an enzuigiri.
The chants for Vernon Vanderbilt are deafening.
LoweDown leaves the ring.
Vernon Vanderbilt runs into the ropes.
Vernon Vanderbilt goes for a swinging neckbreaker but Hardcore Harry pulls
Len Stanley in the way !
Len Stanley is back on the job.
Len Stanley admonishes Hardcore Harry.
Hardcore Harry tags out to Ryushi Fujita.
LoweDown enters the ring and lays out Hardcore Harry.
The crowd erupts.
LoweDown nails Ryushi Fujita with a spinebuster.
Vernon Vanderbilt executes a flying elbowdrop on Ryushi Fujita.
Len Stanley counts: One, two, shoulder up.
LoweDown leaves the ring.
Vernon Vanderbilt hits Ryushi Fujita with a flying elbowdrop.
Len Stanley counts: One, kickout.
Vernon Vanderbilt nails Ryushi Fujita with a kneedrop.
Vernon Vanderbilt covers Ryushi Fujita.
Len Stanley counts: One, two, kickout.
Vernon Vanderbilt executes a Russian legsweep on Ryushi Fujita.
Vernon Vanderbilt goes for an enzuigiri, but Ryushi Fujita ducks out of the way.
Ryushi Fujita runs into the ropes.
Vernon Vanderbilt goes for a Russian legsweep, but Ryushi Fujita
counters it with an elbowsmash.
Hardcore Harry enters the ring to make it two-on-one.
LoweDown enters the ring and throws Hardcore Harry out of the ring.
The crowd is going into a frenzy.
LoweDown smacks Ryushi Fujita with a devastating short clothesline .
Vernon Vanderbilt executes an enzuigiri on Ryushi Fujita.
Vernon Vanderbilt doesn't quite know what to do with the mixed reaction he
's getting.
LoweDown leaves the ring.
Vernon Vanderbilt nails Ryushi Fujita with an enzuigiri.
Vernon Vanderbilt is going for the pin.
Len Stanley counts: One, shoulder up.
Vernon Vanderbilt executes a kneedrop on Ryushi Fujita.
Vernon Vanderbilt is going for the pin.
Len Stanley counts: One, shoulder up.
Vernon Vanderbilt goes for a chokehold, but Ryushi Fujita counters it with
a facerake.
Vernon Vanderbilt begs off.
Ryushi Fujita executes a T-Bone Suplex on Vernon Vanderbilt.
Len Stanley counts: One, two, kickout.
Ryushi Fujita runs into the ropes.
Vernon Vanderbilt misses with a clothesline.
Vernon Vanderbilt hits Ryushi Fujita with an elbow.
Vernon Vanderbilt executes a guillotine legdrop on Ryushi Fujita.
Vernon Vanderbilt blows kisses and points to the stars.
All of a sudden, the boos are turning into almost unanimous cheers.
Vernon Vanderbilt goes for a chokehold, but Ryushi Fujita counters it with
a facerake.
Vernon Vanderbilt begs off.
Ryushi Fujita uses a Northern Lights suplex on Vernon Vanderbilt.
Len Stanley counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Ryushi Fujita whips Vernon Vanderbilt into the ropes.
Ryushi Fujita smacks Vernon Vanderbilt with a devastating clothesline .
Ryushi Fujita puts Vernon Vanderbilt in a half Boston crab.
Vernon Vanderbilt gets ahold of the ropes after holding out for 5 seconds.
Ryushi Fujita hits a flying elbowdrop on Vernon Vanderbilt.
Len Stanley counts: One, kickout.

Fujita tags out to Hardcore Harry

Vernon and Harry are trading blows.
Harry is starting to gain the upper hand.
Vernon stops that with a quick thumb to the eye.

King: That always works!

JR: You always say that.

Vernon takes Harry down with a Russian legsweep.
Vernon runs to the corner and climbs the ropes.
He leaps off, landing with a guillotine legdrop.

(Vernon Vanderbilt is the legal man inside the ring. Master Z and Lowedown have found themselves both standing in the same corner waiting for the tag.)

JR: Look at Master Z and Lowedown! They're not even paying attention to the match they're just scowling at each other standing on the apron!

KING: What is Master Z doing?

JR: Master Z is reaching into his pocket! He's pulling out the brass knuckles, but Lowedown can't see them!

Flame sees Master Z reaching into his pocket. She grabs him by the leg and pulls him off the apron

KING: Get out of there Flame! You're going to get hurt!.

(Master Z turns and looks at flame. he looks furious.)

KING: Turn around Master Z!

JR: Lowedown also jumps off the ring apron leaving Vernon Vanderbilt by himself to take on 3 men.

(Lowedown grabs Master Z from behind but is me with a backwards low blow kick for his troubles. Master Z turns and swings wildly at Lowedown.)

JR: Lowedown ducks and Master Z only hits air

Lowedown takes Master Z down with a tackle

The two men are brawling on the outisde

KING: Lowedown better keep away from those brass knucks!

JR: Master Z and Lowedown are exchanging punches. Vernon Vanderbilt is in the ring looking for a tag!

KING: Who cares about Vernon, let's watch Lowe and Z go at it!

JR: The two men are locked up rolling around the floor! Flame can only watch in horror!

(Lowedown and Z are brawling on the outside as Lowedown attempts to whip Z into the steel steps. Z reverses it as Lowedown heads towards the steps with force. Lowedown barely manages to sidestep the steps by leaping over them and then catches himself on the guardrail. Flame rushes over and gets in front of her husband and tries to keep him away from Z...)

Vernon Vanderbilt hits Hardcore Harry with an elbow.
Vernon Vanderbilt takes Hardcore Harry down with a moonsault.
Len Stanley counts: One, kickout.
Vernon Vanderbilt executes the End of the End on Hardcore Harrya.
Vernon Vanderbilt goes for the pin.

Len Stanley counts: One, two, three.

*DING DING*

LILLY: The winners are Lowedown, Master Z and Vernon Vanderbilt!

JR: We'll be right back!

("Santa Claus is Coming To Town" plays._

JR: What is this, King?

KING: I think Santa is back!

(Suddenly, the sound of crashing glass is heard. The Stone Cold theme song blares and the crowd erupts as Stone Cold Bruiser steps through the curtain wheeling two big bags on a hand cart and stomps to the ring. He tosses one bag into the ring.)

(Bruiser jumps in the ring and does the four corner salute to the fans.)

KING: YAHH! That's not Santa!

JR: It's the owner of the BMWF Stone Cold Bruiser and he doesn't look like he's in the Christmas spirit!

BRUISER: HO! HO! HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Gimmie a cold one, jackass! (The attendant throws Bruiser a cold one and he pops it open and chugs it.) You know, I was going to come out here dressed like Santa and do a little skit, but everybody and their jackasses decided to do the same thing. So, I'm just gonna do what I gotta do. There's two people out here that I want to address. One of these two has been a very good little boy and the other has been a very bad little boy! The two people I'm talking about are...Good Ol' JR and The King! Come on into the ring, guys!

JR: What? Well..ok...(He takes off his headset as does the King. They both walk to the ring steps and get into the ring.)

BRUISER: HO HO HO! JR, you've been a really good little boy, so BRUISER has gotten you a nice present! Bring out

(The elves pull the first bag out of the sleigh.)

BRUISER: Here you go, JR!

JR: Well, thank you, Mr. Bruiser!

BRUISER: Go ahead and open them, son!

(JR grabs a box out of the bag and opens it.)

JR: WOW! A new cowboy hat and boots!

BRUISER: HO HO HO! Open the next one!

JR: WOW! A genuine Hopalong Cassidy #1 comic book! YEE-HAW! Just what I've always wanted!

BRUISER: And one more...

JR: WOW! A whole case of cold ones brewed in 1876! Thanks, Bruiser! These are great!!

BRUISER: Now as for you, King, you've been a bad, bad boy this year!

KING: No, I've been really good!

BRUISER: No, you've lied, you've cheated, you've called people morons!

KING: Well they are!

BRUISER: That's beside the point, jackass! However, I'm is going to be nice and forgiving and give you what you've always wanted for Christmas! HO HO HO'S!!!

KING: Ho ho ho's?! WOO HOO! Do you mean...?

(Sounds of women barking come from the remaining bag.)

KING: PUPPIES!! YAHOOOOO! GIMME!!

SANTA: OK, come on out, ladies!

(The bag pops open and out come Clodfather's ho's The Rosettis, Flabulous Moolah and Mae Old!)

KING: YAHHH!

SANTA: MERRY CHRISTMAS, YA STUPID JACKASS!

KING: YAHHH!

(The ho's jump all over King as the crash of glass is heard, the music plays and the ho's are all over the King. Bruiser calls for the cold ones. The attendant throws him a couple and he pops them open and chugs them.)

JR: The King is being smothered by flabby butts and shriveled puppies! Oh, my gosh! MAE OLD IS GIVING THE KING A BRONCO BUSTER!!!

(Bruiser pops open more cold ones and shares them with the ho's as King lays on the mat gagging. Bruiser pops open a couple more cold ones and looks toward the camera.)

BRUISER: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL YA SONS OF BLEEPS AND TO ALL OF YA, A GOOD NIGHT! (He toasts the cold ones to all BMWFers everywhere as we fade...to...black...)

KING: YAHHHHHHMMMMPH!!!

Copyright © 2003 Bruisermania Wrestling Federation