The Bruisermania Wrestling Federation--Where Superstars are created and Jabronies are humiliated!

(The show opens inside the Savvis Center Saint Louis Missouri. The camera pans the capacity crowd. They are going wild and many signs are seen.)

JR: Hello, everyone! Welcome to the sold out Savvis Center Saint Louis Missouri! Welcome to BMWF Season's Beatings 2003! I'm JR Finnegan along side the King, Gary Brawler, and what a show we have for you tonight!

Tonight, BMWF World Champion Lowedown meets the #1 contender for his title--Hardcore Harry!

JR:Ladies and Gentlemen, I've just been informed that the bWo brothers have arrived here in the Savvis arena!

King:Lowedown has Hardcore Harry tonight and he isn't taking him lightly from what I've heard here!

JR:I wouldn't take Harry lightly either. Harry is going to be facing unbelievable odds here tonight since he is going to be in two matches tonight!

King;Lowedown is going to take that into consideration as he's pinning Harry tonight! HAHAHA!

JR:I've just been informed that Slim Jim is standing by the waiting bWo limousine! Slim, are you there with the World champion?

(The Bruisertron lights up to show the bWo limousine pulling into the backstage area as the crowd begins chanting for the bWo. Lowedown steps out wearing a leather trenchcoat and his cowboy hat. As Lowedown stands up fully, he opens his trenchcoat to reveal his World Heavyweight title. Lowedown pulls out a bandana and wipes a smudge away on the belt and then extends his hand out to help Flame out of the limousine...)

LD:Step back Slim. I need a lil' breathing room here.

Slim:Sorry. I was curious about your thoughts tonight on your Heavyweight title match against a man who will be wrestling in another match before he faces you?

LD:First things first Slim...ST.LOUIS, MISSOURI!!

(Crowd pops)

LD:WOLFPAC IN...THE...

LD & Crowd:HOUSE!

(Lowedown smiles as he lifts his chin up in front of the camera...)

LD:The peeps of St.Louis known that their World champion is in the building and they love me and I love them! YA FEEL ME?!?

Crowd:HELL YEAH!

LD:Slim, there are alot of things to do here tonight and I have very little time to do it in. I am going to answer that question right here and right now. Harry honestly shouldn't be making this such a handicap match for me tonight for the simple fact that I am going to put his sorry @$$ through a ton of pain! I thought Harry would know by now that when you face a World champion like me, you face a one man army! I'm used to going against the grain! I'm known for my straight @$$ kicking abilitites in uneven situations! Harry, I truly don't believe he has a clue on what he's getting into here tonight! But more than that, I am going to do something that he might not be expecting.

Slim:What's that?

LD:Well, I'm going to...

(As Lowedown is about to finish his sentence, one of the production trucks moves to show Master Z's corvette parked in the backstage area. Lowedown looks around for a moment as he then suddenly opens the limousine door and shouts inside...)

LD:Doze! Sylvia! Quit making out and get the BLEEP out! I gotta move the limo!

(Dozer and Sylvia step out of the limousine in a hurry as Dozer looks over at his brother...)

Dozer:Why don't you just let the driver do it man?

LD:Because I know just where to park it!

(Lowedown walks over to the driver side of the limo and opens the door. Lowedown grabs the limo driver and pulls him out. Lowedown jumps in the limo and peels out right in front of the bWo members. Lowedown manages to spin the limosuine around and is staring across the backstage area at Z's corvette. Lowedown revs up the engine as he pops his neck and then slams his foot down on the accelerator. Lowedown drives recklessly straight towards Z's limo. Lowedown presses the pedal down to the floor as he is coming closer and closer to Z's corvette until he finally slams head on into Z's corvette. Lowedown shoves Z's corvette against the wall and crushes it even more as the sparks begin to fly under the hoods. As the smoke begins to pour from both hoods, Lowedown manages to kick the door open to the limousine and unhooks his seat belt. Lowedown staggers out for a moment and then adjusts cowboy hat and begins to make his way back over to Slim Jim and his bWo family...)

Slim:I can't believe you just did that to Master Z's corvette! What were you thinking?!?

LD:I was thinking of how Z feels he can just pick all the best parking spots in the building! Last time I checked...

(Lowedown looks down at the World Heavyweight title and then back at the camera...)

LD:..the World champion gets his choice of parking spots! Z walked into the bWo locker room and attacked us like marked targets. He even put his stinking breath on my wife! He's lucky he didn't touch her that's for d@mn sure! Now, anything else I have to say tonight will be in the ring later tonight! That is the Lowedown on that!

(Lowedown, Dozer, Flame, and Sylvia leave as the fire department rushes over and begins to put out the cars that began to go aflame...)

fade...

JR:Master Z will not be happy when he finds out what Lowedown did to his corvette!

King:I think Lowedown may have to move to another country!

JR:Folks, let's go to our first match!

LILLY: This contest is scheduled for one fall.

Led to the ring by The Embalmer and Francine...
From Short Hills, New Jersey...
Weighing in at 245 pounds...

Ravven

("Come Out and Play" by Offspring blares over the P.A. As the lights go all around the building out from the curtains and onto the stage steps Ravven. He is greeted with a mixed reaction from the crowd, mostly boos. Francine steps out gets a major league crowd pop. Ravven does the crucifix with his arms but gets booed by the crowd. They walk to the ring. Once there, Ravven rolls under the ropes, stands up and gives the crucifix sign. Francine enters between the second and top ropes revealing her skimpy panties as she does so. Ravven sits down in the corner. The music stops and the lights come up.)

LILLY: His opponent...
Fighting out of St. Michaels Cathedral...
Weighing in at 183 pounds...

Altar Boy Mark

KING: YAHHH! Friar Fergus! We haven't seen this fat slob in years! Last time I saw him he was Bastion Booger-Eater!

JR: There's the bell!
Altar Boy Mark punches Ravven.
Altar Boy Mark punches Ravven.
Ravven hits Altar Boy Mark.
Ravven is starting to get more cheers than boos.
Ravven hits Altar Boy Mark.
Ravven executes a kneelift on Altar Boy Mark.
Ravven runs into the ropes.
Altar Boy Mark executes a kick to the midsection on Ravven.
Altar Boy Mark hits Ravven with a forearm smash.
Altar Boy Mark throws Ravven into the turnbuckle.
Ravven comes back, but is met with a clothesline.
Altar Boy Mark runs into the ropes.
Altar Boy Mark nails Ravven with the Running Forearm Smash.
Charles Robertson counts: One, kickout.
Altar Boy Mark takes Ravven down with spinning headscissors.
Altar Boy Mark covers Ravven.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, kickout.
Altar Boy Mark runs into the ropes.
Ravven misses with an elbow.
Altar Boy Mark hits Ravven with a kick.
Altar Boy Mark whips Ravven into the ropes.
Ravven hits Altar Boy Mark with a swinging neckbreaker.
Ravven acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him.
Ravven hoists Altar Boy Mark high into the air with a vertical suplex, then send
s Altar Boy Mark crashing hard to the mat.
Ravven nails Altar Boy Mark with a bodyslam.
Friar Fergus distracts Ravven by lifting his robe.

JR: Altar Boy Mark takes Ravven down with the Running Forearm Smash.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, thr... kickout.
Altar Boy Mark gives the sign for the Holy Driver.
Altar Boy Mark executes the Holy Driver on Ravven.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, three.
A small "Altar Boy Mark" chant is being started.

*DING DING!*

KING: Oh, my gosh! Friar Fergus is walking hand in hand to the back with Altar Boy Mark!

(A blue convertible Lexus pulls up outside the All-State Arena. There is a
chauffeur driving and in the back seats are Tai Hashi, Athena Hashi and
Kolic: Rock Star Inc. They all jump out the door and Tai gives the chauffeur
a tip before Rock Star Inc. grab their luggage. Once done, they look up at
the All-State Arena.)

Tai: I think it's safe to say St. Louis Missouri,

Rock Star Inc: YOU ROCK!

Kolic: Man, am I pumped! We get our first real shot at the tag titles
tonight!

Tai: Calm down, bro. We haven’t won them yet, and besides, all of Prime Time
will be there. Do you think we can fight all of them if they get involved?

Kolic: Maybe we can’t, but our equalizer can. He could probably take on all
of Prime Time if he wanted. However, he isn’t here to win the belts for us,
so we’d better be ready to do it ourselves.

Tai: There’s something else we have to concern ourselves with: the Lethal
Lottery match. We agreed that if we have to fight, we’re giving it are all,
right?

Kolic: Agreed. I’d be honored to be tag champs with you, but it’s everyone
for themselves when it comes to the BMWF championship. We’d better watch out
for Inferno and Mineral getting a cheap win.
Tai: That would be just like them. Anyway, Athena. You got the third member
of Eco-System Aquatic.

Kolic: Yeah, what match you got again?

(Athena shows Kolic the schedule, Athena doesn't look happy)

Athena: What sort of pervert would make up a match like that?

Tai: Bruiser or King I'm guessing.

Kolic: Come on guys, let's get inside, we all got matches to train for.

Tai: Hell in a cell...HERE WE COME!

(All of R.S.I heads off inside.)

FADE

(A beat up olive green Ford pickup with tinted windows roars into the SavvisCenterparking lot and screeches to a halt inches away from another car. Music with a heavy bass is heard from the car as the passenger door opens and Scrappy Joe Tunny exits wearing blue jeans and a tight black t-shirt. His brother Chuck exits from the driver’s door carrying a large black gym bag.)

Tunny: (Looking at the distance between the pickup and the car it almost hit) Damn, Chuck! You actually did it! Less ‘an six inches! You win!

(Tunny takes a crumpled dollar bill out of his back pocket and hands it over to his brother. As he turns around, Michael Bole comes running up to him.)

Tunny: You must be Michael Bole. I’ve heard that you make your living annoying the wrestlers as they arrive at the arena. Seems like I’ll be forced to see you quite a lot in the future.

Bole: Most likely. Anyway, tell me – how are you feeling coming into your inaugural match in the BMWF?

(Tunny looks confused. Chuck taps him on the shoulder and speaks softly into his ear.)

Chuck: Inaugural means first, Joey. He’s talking about your first match in the fed.

Tunny: Oh. That’s right – inaug’ral. This ain’t no SAT, Bole. But I’ll tell you how I’m feelin’. I’m all revved up and ready to go! I’m not nervous. I’ve been fightin’ for years now, and anyways, they’ve got me facin’ Awesome Mike! I’ve faced more “awesome” opponents in grade school!

Bole: So you’re not nervous at all? You’ll be in front of a whole bunch of fans, and…

Tunny: Hold it right there, Bole! You think I’d get nervous ‘cause of the fans?!

Tunny: Just nothing, Bole! You think I give a damn about the fans? Those idiots come watch wrestlers beat each other up ‘cause they can’t beat anybody up themselves! Those pansies wish they could make it in the ring with someone like Scrappy Joe Tunny! I’m gonna use this match against Awesome Mike to show ‘em a thing or two about fightin’! They can love me, they can hate me. Either way, I’m gonna make damn sure that they – and more importantly the BMWF wrestlers – get a taste of what Scrappy Joe Tunny is all about!

(Tunny pushes past Bole and Chuck follows him. The scene fades as they enter the arena’s back entrance.)

#I love rock 'n' roll
#So put another dime
#In the jukebox
#Baby
#I love rock 'n' roll
#So come and
#Take the time
#And dance with me

('I love Rock n' Roll' by Britney Spears plays as the rock chick herself Athena Hashi walks out from behind the curtains. Dressed in baggy green cargo pants and a short white top with a skull and cross bones on. Athena walks down the ramp gaining a lot of support from the fans with high fives. Athena climbs onto the apron and blows a kiss to the crowd. She then walks through the middle and top rope and gets the microphone from Lilly)

Athena Hashi: You know what I'm thinking right now guys and girls? Do you know what's running through the mind of Athena Hashi? I'll tell you what it is, what kind of pervert made this Naughty n' Nice match.

Athena Hashi: Well, there's only one diva in the BMWF that has puppies like me and that is...me! I wonder who else could have made the match? Was it the BMWF Owner Stone Cold Bruiser?

Athena Hashi: I know he's sitting in his office right now drinking his Diet Coke or whatever he drinks now and he has Rock playing his (bleep) and I bet he can't wait for this match to happen.

Athena Hashi: Who else could have made the match? How about the Eco-System Inferno and Mineral.

Athena Hashi: I bet they planned this so they could see Aquatic and Athena Hashi getting it on in the ring! Well Inferno and Mineral, watch as much as you like because after tonight - you'll have to wash away your own blood from your eyes, feel your ribs poking out of places they shouldn't be poking out of and then having to be told that you've just lost the tag team Championship to the greatest tag team the BMWF has ever seen... ROCK STAR INC!

Athena Hashi: So then Aquatic, I'll do whatever it takes even if I do have to pin you, then grab the paddle and hit you where the sun ain't shining (Huge pop from the male fans) or have to bust you open with a trash can and then pin you I guess in the words of Gary "King" Brawler that you're gonna see...PUPPIES! And in the words of the great man under the cowboy hat JR Finnegan this match is gonna be...A SLOBBERKNOCKER! I'm out.

(Tai Hashi is sitting in his locker room with his head in his hand. He's sitting on a folding steel chair.)

Tai Hashi: Everyday someone comes up to me and asks "Why do you wrestle?" To be honest, I don't know why? Is it because I like listening to the crowd chanting my name, is it because I like the taste of glory or is it because tonight I'm going to be one half of the BMWF Tag Team Champions? I think it is.

Tai Hashi: I've tasted gold before - Light-Heavyweight gold but never before as Tai Hashi ever won a Tag Team Championship. And tonight I can win that championship with help from Kolic, and my dream will come true. You see the Tag Team Championship is my second step in the ladder to the BMWF World Championship. I've overcome one step, onto my second, then the third and so on until I am top of the BMWF mountain. Rock on sista'!

(The Eco-Mobile swings up to the arena at a blazing speed. The
Eco-System-Inferno, Mineral, and Aquatic-step out with huge smiles on their faces. Inferno
and Mineral brandish their belts proudly.)

Inferno: Well, well, well. Looks like we had an Eco-rific Bedlam, an
Eco-rific Christmas-

Aquatic: (correcting) PRIME TIME Christmas.

Inferno: Right, right. A Prime Time Christmas, and tonight, we're going to
have an Eco-rific Season's Beatings.

(Couch runs up to the Eco-System, huffing and puffing.)

Couch: (takes a breath) Ah, Eco-System! Good to see our tag champi-

Mineral: EH EH! Spare the pleasantries Couch, much as we enjoy them. We have
a busy night, and need to be on our way.

Couch: Honestly, I just wanted to ask you about tonight and your feelings on
your match-

Inferno: (grabs the mike) YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I THINK? Huh? Well then,
don't speak, LISTEN! (Cheers) Wait....that's not my catchphrase. Meh. Anyway, it
seems to me like Aquatic has beaten Athena three times-count them, THREE
TIMES,-in the past month and
humiliated her countless more times, so that won't be a problem.

Aquatic: As for my boys here, Inferno and Mineral beat Rock Star Inc.
ONE-TWO-THREE a couple weeks ago, Inferno beat Tai Hashi on an untelevised show.
Plus, Inferno beat Kolic and Mineral beat Tai Hashi on national TV just last week.
Did I mention most of
those were singles matches? Couch, my boys are not trained to wrestle
singles and shouldn't be in those matches! But out of all the confrontations, the
only loss was Mineral to Kolic by countout-a purposeful disqualification!!!!
They got outclassed in our element and their own element, and tonight, in a Hell
in the Cell Match with Prime Time's influence all around, they will not only
be outclassed, they will....

Aquatic/Crowd:FEEL.....OUR...........PAIN!!!!

Mineral: (taking mike from Inferno and Aquatic.) So, for all our Ecolytes in
attendance, we request this.....(throws head back) IF YOU FEEL IT, SAY IT....

Inferno/Mineral/Aquatic/Crowd: ECO-LIFE!!!!!!

Inferno: All right! We done here, Couch?

Couch: Well, I was actually going to ask you about the Lethal Lottery match
toni.....(Coch is silenced by the glares of the Eco-System)

Inferno: (angrily but quietly) We don't quite feel like talking about it,
Couch.

Couch: But I just....

Aquatic: (shouting) HE SAYS WE DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! WHAT DON'T YOU
UNDERSTAND!!!!! Now take your stupid microphone and your stupid little
expressions somewhere else, BIOHAZARD! (The crowd boos as Aquatic walks off.)

Inferno: Now that was a little harsh....Aqautic, wait up! (Inferno follows
her.)

Mineral: (taking out a small package.) Sorry about that, Couch. Touchy
subject. Here, have your present. (Mineral passes Couch the present as he walks off.
Couch opens it eagerly.)

Couch: Well I wonder what this could.....SHOE SHINE POLISH? A note? (Couch
reads) "Dear Couch....this works just as well on your head as your shoes....Much
Love, the Eco-System." Well, that's just stupid! Turn the camera off!

(The camera stays on as we watch Couch attempting to discreetly put some of
the shine on his head, and then it fades out...)

FADE

LILLY: This contest is scheduled for one fall.

Led to the ring by Chuck Tunny...
Fighting out of Newark, NJ...
Weighing in at 240 pounds...

"Scrappy" Joe Tunny

(Suddenly, the house lights turn off and white spotlights spin around the arena. “Welcome to the Jungle” bursts forth from the speakers as the Bruisertron lights up. Footage of Scrappy Joe Tunny annihilating a punching bag, lifting weights, sprinting up a flight of stairs, and shadow kickboxing are shown in an MTV-style montage. After half a minute, a deep narrator’s voice is heard over the music:)

Narrator: Scrappy Joe Tunny is ready. He’s ready to take his fighting skills and his intensity off the streets…and straight into the BMWF!

(The montage gives way to a shot of Tunny wrestling in training camp. He delivers a back-wrenching belly-to-back suplex to his anonymous opponent, then turns him on his stomach and locks in his camel clutch hold.)

Narrator: Tunny calls this the “Pain Central”, and just one look at it will show you why!

(The camera zooms in on Tunny’s opponents face, which is contorted in agony.)

Narrator: Scrappy Joe Tunny is ready. Are you?

(The screen cuts to a shot of Tunny staring menacingly into the lense)

Tunny: Get ready…to enter MY JUNGLE!!!

(A pyro explosion goes off on the stage, followed by twelve more, filling the stage with smoke. As the house lights rise slightly, Scrappy Joe Tunny emerges from the smoke with his brother Chuck following behind him. Tunny is dressed in dirty jeans cut off just below the knees and a white tank top with “Kill or BE Killed” written on the front and “That’s the law of the JUNGLE” written on the back. He fingers the steel chain hooked onto his belt loop as he strides purposefully toward the ring. A few feet before the ring he breaks into a sprint and leaps onto the ring apron. He ducks under the second rope and pulls out the microphone tucked into his belt as Chuck joins him in the ring.)

Tunny: St. LouisMissouri!

(Crowd pops)

Tunny: Sit down and shut up! I’ve got somethin’ to say!

(The crowd boos, annoyed at being jilted)

Tunny: This one goes out to the boys in the locker room. Pay special attention to the match you’re about to witness. Awesome Mike is just a guinea pig I’ll be usin’ to show you what Scrappy Joe Tunny is all about!

(Tunny waits for the crowd to quite down a bit.)

Tunny: And as for you, Awesome Mike. Get ready for a world of pain, ‘cause you’ve been chosen to be the first to step into MY JUNGLE!

(Tunny tosses the mic out of the ring and starts limbering himself up.)

JR: There's the bell!
Awesome Mike executes a kick to the head on Joe Tunny.
Awesome Mike attempts to place Joe Tunny on the turnbuckle, but Joe Tunny
blocks it.
Awesome Mike hits Joe Tunny.
Joe Tunny punches Awesome Mike.
Joe Tunny is met with a mixture of cheers and boos.
Joe Tunny hits Awesome Mike.
A portion of the crowd is cheering Joe Tunny.
Awesome Mike chops Joe Tunny.
Awesome Mike is met with a mixture of cheers and boos.
Awesome Mike takes Joe Tunny down with a Gorilla Press.
Awesome Mike is going for the pin.
Rick Patrick counts: One, two, kickout.
Awesome Mike goes for a stomp, but Joe Tunny rolls out of the way.
Joe Tunny takes Awesome Mike down with a left jab.
A portion of the crowd is cheering Joe Tunny.
Joe Tunny takes Awesome Mike down with a series of punches.
Joe Tunny whips Awesome Mike into the ropes.
Joe Tunny hits Awesome Mike with a kick.
Joe Tunny takes Awesome Mike down with foot choke in corner.
A portion of the crowd is booing Joe Tunny.
Joe Tunny runs into the ropes.
Awesome Mike hits Joe Tunny with a backdrop.
Awesome Mike goes for a forearm smash, but Joe Tunny blocks it.
Joe Tunny uses a left jab on Awesome Mike.
Joe Tunny nails Awesome Mike with a right jab.
Joe Tunny goes for a right jab, but Awesome Mike blocks it.
Awesome Mike sets up Joe Tunny on the turnbuckle.
Awesome Mike hits a superplex on Joe Tunny.
The audience doesn't quite know how to react to Awesome Mike.
Awesome Mike sends Joe Tunny into the turnbuckle, but Joe Tunny reverses it.
Joe Tunny charges into the corner, but Awesome Mike moves out of the way.
Awesome Mike smacks Joe Tunny with a devastating lariat .
Awesome Mike whips Joe Tunny into the ropes.
Awesome Mike hits a kick to the midsection on Joe Tunny.
Awesome Mike chops Joe Tunny.
The audience doesn't quite know how to react to Awesome Mike.
Awesome Mike kicks Joe Tunny.
Awesome Mike is met with a mixture of cheers and boos.
Awesome Mike almost takes Joe Tunny's head off with a running lariat
Awesome Mike whips Joe Tunny into the ropes.
Awesome Mike misses with a clothesline.
Joe Tunny takes Awesome Mike down with the Running Forearm Smash.
Rick Patrick counts: One, two, kickout.

JR: Tunny with a kick to the midsection! A flurry of punches sends Awesome Mike down to the mat!

KING: Tunny’s smashing Awesome Mike’s head into the mat! Three, four, five times! Ouch, that’s gotta hurt!

(Tunny picks up Awesome Mike and whips him sharply into the corner. Awesome Mike is holding himself up weakly against the corner post.)

JR: Tunny running into the corner – Awesome Mike’s met with a vicious forearm smash! Awesome Mike falls to the second rope, and now Tunny is stomping him in the corner! The ref’s trying to make him stop!

KING: What technique by Tunny! What finesse!

JR: What’re you talking about? Tunny’s hardly used any wrestling moves at all in this match!

KING: I’m talking about his stomping technique. He must practice a lot at home!

(Tunny nudges the ref out of the way and brings Awesome Mike out to the middle of the ring.)

JR: Tunny with a right jab. And a left jab. He’s cocking back for right hook, and…NO! Awesome Mike blocks it! Tunny with a left hook…Blocked again! Awesome Mike hits Tunny with a right! And another right! Awesome Mike is getting his second wind! The two are exchanging blows in the center of the ring! Wait! Chuck Tunny is up on the ring apron! He’s distracting the ref!

KING: It seems to me that Chuck is the brains of the outfit. Which doesn’t say much about Scrappy Joe! HA!

(The ref has his back to the wrestlers as he shouts at Chuck to get off the apron. Suddenly, Tunny grabs Awesome Mike by the shoulders and knees him sharply in the groin.)

JR/KING: OOOOOOH!

KING: See, that’s what I was talking about. What technique!

JR: Awesome Mike is hurt, and Tunny closes in…JAWBREAKER! Jawbreaker on Awesome Mike!!! Awesome Mike is down!

KING: What?! A LEGAL move with the ref’s back turned?! This Tunny obviously still has a lot to learn!

(Chuck has jumped back down to the floor, and the ref is checking on Awesome Mike as Tunny taunts the crowd.)

TUNNY: Listen up, you pansies! Pay attention and see what a REAL man can do!

JR: Tunny not making any friends in the crowd tonight!

KING: He’s gotta work on his friend-making technique!

(Tunny returns to Awesome Mike and picks him up by the hair. Tunny spins him around, grabs him around the waist, and…)

JR: BELLY TO BACK! What a suplex by Tunny! Awesome Mike was almost snapped in two!

KING: You should too, you know.

JR: What?

KING: You should also work on your friend-making technique. It needs some work.

JR: (shaking his head and laughing) Let’s just focus on this matchup, King. Tunny is stomping on Awesome Mike’s back. Awesome Mike trying to crawl his way to the ropes, but Tunny grabs him by the legs and drags him to the middle of the ring. Tunny with an elbow drop on Awesome Mike’s back. Now Tunny straddling Awesome Mike. He’s locking on the…
KING: PAIN CENTRAL! PAIN CENTRAL! Tunny’s got it locked on good!

JR: Look at him wrench back and pull with those massive arms!

KING: Awesome Mike is screaming, JR! This hold hurts!

JR: Awesome Mike can’t hold out much longer! Nobody could!

KING: There it is! Awesome Mike’s tapping out, he’s giving up! Tunny has won!

JR: Awesome Mike submits after 16 seconds.
The audience doesn't quite know how to react to Joe Tunny.

*DING DING!*

LILLY: The winner is Joe Tunny!

JR: Let go, Tunny! You’ve won! Lord almighty, let go!

(Tunny refuses to release the hold, and it takes a number of officials and security to get him to let go of the now unconscious Awesome Mike.)

(Tunny picks up Awesome Mike and tosses him over the top rope out onto the floor as Chuck Tunny enters the ring and tosses a microphone to his brother.)

Tunny: Did I not tell you? No-one gets out of my jungle alive!

(The crowd boos lightly)

Tunny: Awesome Mike was just the first. I plan on kickin’ some serious @$$ here in the BMWF! Anyone who’s got a problem with that, is welcome to venture into MY JUNGLE!!!

(Tunny tosses the mic down and he and his brother exit the ring and walk up the ramp, taunting the crowd all the way up.)

(Slim Jim Sullivan is standing backstage in the BMWF Interview area with BMWF's resident Rock Chick Athena Hashi.)

Slim Jim Sullivan: Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm standing backstage with Athena Hashi who later on tonight faces Aquatic in a naughty n' nice match. First thing first, Athena. You're facing Aquatic for the millionth time, what are your thoughts?

Athena Hashi: Your right Slim, we have had a million battles in the past but this one is Pay-Per-View material and what a way to end 2003 in a victory for Athena Hashi and the rest of Rock Star Inc in they're Hell in a Cell match. I gotta go...

(The scene opens up to the darkness of a December night. A soft muffled sound is heard off in the distance. The faint noise begins to get louder and we see a silver mercedes come into view. The vehicle pulls into a small parking space, as BMWF interviewer, Michael Bole, heads up to the car and waits to see who the mysterious person is. The car slowly comes to a stop, and the driver begins to climb out. We finally see Rachel Pitt step out of the vehicle dressed in a white blouse and pinstripe skirt.)

JR: Looks like our Women’s Champion has decided to grace us with her presence!

King: Finally, she’s been gone for far too long.

JR: King…it’s been a week!

King: And that’s far too long!

Bole: Um, excuse me... Rachel?

Rachel: *scoffs* What is it?

Bole: I just wanted to get a quick word from you about your match tonight?

Rachel: Well to tell you the truth, I wasn’t as involved in that match as I could have been. In fact, I don’t recall even pushing myself to the limit once in that match. I guess things were too rough for me that I wasn’t even thinking about what I was supposed to do.

Rachel: Better. I’m so sick of Tyrone and Tamer always bothering me about this whole thing that has gone on. But tonight I promised my self not to even think about him. Tonight is all about keeping my title.

Rachel: Just fine. I mean I beat five other women last month at Survival, so why should three be any more difficult? The answer is, it won’t be any more difficult. Because, well, I am the best that the Women’s Division has ever seen. I mean let’s look at the list, Moody? Got ya. Jaklyn J? Got ya. Flame? Got ya. Athena? Got ya. Aquatic? Got ya. All of them have suffered a defeat from me and I plan on being the best. So excuse m Bole, but I have gotten bored of you.

(A black Hummer pulls into the Savvis Center parking lot as Michael Bole rushes over to greet the driver.)

Bole: I am hoping to get a word with.....

(Pain steps out and peers down at Michael Bole. He stares at him for a brief second and then walks into the arena. Team Beautiful exit the Hummer and walk over to Bole.)

Bole: I was not aware that you guys were going to be here.

Rey: You never really know what to expect from any of us now do you Michael?

Tazan: There has been a reason for some of the recent things that have been going on.

Rey: Yeah first we let Elektroshock book the flight out....

(An old farmilar voice comes out of nowhere.)

Scotty: That ain't gonna happen again.

Bole: Scotty!!!!

Scotty: Then Tazan catches the flu and spreads it to the rest of us that travel with him.

(Tazan Boy shrugs his shoulders.)

Tazan: Sorry.

Bole: Scotty, what are your thoughts going into the match up you have tonight?

Scotty: Let's see.... Ya's got Sebastian Clarke..... A future force here in the BMWF and then ya's got Chuck Ortiz......

Rey: Not exactly USDA grade A....

Tazan: Nothing even close....

Scotty: One of these guys I look forward to... The otha..... Just antha victim.....

(The three walk into the building as Bole is left standing in the parking lot.)

>>>

LILLY: This contest is an elimination four corners match.

Introducing first
Weighing in at 270 pounds...

Larry Flinn

His opponent...
From Seattle, WA...
Weighing in at 270 pounds...

Shawn Craziak

Their opponent...
Led to the ring by Blizzard...
From Morioka, Japan...
Weighing in at 169 pounds...

Taka Michinoclu

(William Black makes his way out to the ring after the other three make their own entrances. He's wearing a New England Patriots baseball cap and carrying a mic. He carefully steps through the middle rope, looking at all three competetors.)

King : What's this idiot doing? Lets get the match started already!

JR : Not so fast King, it looks like he might have something to say.

(Black turns to the crowd, standing in one corner while all three of his opponants, Shawn Craziak, Jerry Flinn, and Taka Minchinoclu stand in the other. He turns to the other three, attempting to speak, but then he stops and takes a step away before coming back to his original spot. Black holds his free hand up interjectingly as he begins to speak.)

Black : Taka... Taka... I have something I need to say to you before this match starts. Something these fans, here in St. Louis, Missouri!! (The crowd pops. Black continues when they're done.) You see, you have a lot in common with the Blues. You're both losers!

(The crowd boos)

King : Haha! He's right. The Blues are losers.

JR : King...

(Black turns his attention to Craziak next)

Black : Shawn Craziak... It's funny. You share something with St. Louis too. (Shawn Craziak looks confused for a moment.) Yeah, you really do. You're a lot like the Rams. Just like the Rams have no chance of winning the superbowl, you have Absolutely no chance of winning this match!

(The crowd boos again, this time with a little louder.)

(Craziak steps up like he is ready to take a swing at Black, but William Black puts his hand back up to hold him off.)

JR : King, it looks like this rookie is upsetting the crowd. You gotta wonder why he would do such a thing.

King : They're just mad because he's right!

Black : Hold on a sec, Shawn. That wasn't fair, it really wasn't. You're better then the Rams could ever be!

(More boos from the crowd)

(Taka and Craziak rush forwards at Black, chasing him out of the ring. Jerry Linn attacks Taka from behind with a series of right hands)

JR: There's the bell!
Larry Flinn uses an enzuigiri on Taka Michinoclu.
Larry Flinn executes a roundhouse right on Taka Michinoclu.
Larry Flinn runs into the ropes.
Taka Michinoclu hits Larry Flinn with a clothesline.
Larry Flinn falls out of the ring.
Taka Michinoclu jumps onto him with a springboard plancha.
Blizzard comes from behind, but Larry Flinn nails Blizzard.
Taka Michinoclu whips Larry Flinn into the guardrail.
Rick Patrick counts: 1.
Taka Michinoclu knocks Larry Flinn into the ringpost.
A few fans are cheering on Taka Michinoclu.
Blizzard comes from behind and distracts Larry Flinn.
Taka Michinoclu throws Larry Flinn into the guardrail.
Taka Michinoclu climbs back into the ring.
Larry Flinn climbs back into the ring.
Taka Michinoclu takes Larry Flinn down with a flying elbowdrop.
Rick Patrick counts: One, two, kickout.
Taka Michinoclu does the Kaientai chop.

Taka tags in Black

Black Irish Whips Flinn into the turnbuackles.
Flinn charges out with a full head of steam.
Black drops Flinn with a Drop Toe Hold.
Black follows it up with a Fist Drop to the back of the head.
Black hits a Fist Drop to the back of the head.
Black hits a third Fist Drop to the back of the head.
Black goes for the cover. 1, 2, Flinn just got the shoulder up.

Black Floors Craziak with a left hand.
Black hits an Armdrag on Craziak that sends him across the ring.
Craziak gets up and runs into a Scoop Slam by Black.

King : Hey JR, what's the difference between a Scoop Slam and a Bodyslam anyway?

JR : I don't know King, you tell me.

King : Okay. Oh, hey... wait a minute, what's he doing?

Craziak staggers to his feet.
Black sizes Craziak up in the corner.
Black charges across the ring and connects with a Flying Forearm.
Black slaps Craziak across the back of the head and picks him up.

JR : King, look, Shawn Craziak has been busted wide open!

King : I know! Ain't it great!

Black hits the Empty Chamber '03, violently shaking the ring.
Craziak is out cold.
Black goes for the cover. 1, 2, 3. Craziak has been eliminated.

William Black throws Taka Michinoclu out of the ring.
William Black goes through the ropes.
William Black whips Taka Michinoclu into the guardrail.
Rick Patrick counts: 1.
William Black hits Taka Michinoclu with neckbreaker.
Rick Patrick counts: 2.
William Black uses a fistdrop on Taka Michinoclu.
Rick Patrick counts: 3.
William Black runs Taka Michinoclu into the ringsteps.
Rick Patrick counts: 4.
William Black catches Taka Michinoclu totally by surprise.
Quite a few boos are audible.
William Black is starting to get under the crowd's skin.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
William Black goes for a bodyslam, but Taka Michinoclu counters it with
an elbowsmash.
Taka Michinoclu throws William Black back into the ring.
Taka Michinoclu chops William Black.
A few fans are cheering on Taka Michinoclu.
Taka Michinoclu kicks William Black.
You can hear a few scattered fans cheering for Taka Michinoclu.
Taka Michinoclu kicks William Black.
William Black kicks Taka Michinoclu.
Quite a few boos are audible.
William Black hits Taka Michinoclu.
Quite a few boos are audible.
Taka Michinoclu punches William Black.
The crowd is starting to get behind Taka Michinoclu.
Taka Michinoclu hits William Black.
William Black punches Taka Michinoclu.

Black Irish Whips Taka Minchinoclu into the ropes.
Taka ducks a left hand.
Taka ducks a left hand.
Black catches Taka Minchinoclu with the Blacklock.

Here comes Flinn!

Black takes a headbutt from Flinn.
Black slides outside of the ring for a breather.
Flinn chases Black.
Black ducks a clothesline attempt.
Black hits a left hand.
Flinn hits a right hand.
Black hits a left hand.
Flinn hits a right hand.
Black scores big with an Eye Gouge, causing Flinn to stagger away.

JR : What a blatant display of cheating!

King : I know! I like this guy already, and I think the fans like him too!

JR: Flinn reverses an Irish Whip into the steel steps.
Flinn slides back inside the ring to break up the 10 count.
Flinn slides back outside the ring.
Black begs Flinn not to hit him.
Black hits a Low Blow on Flinn.
Black Irish Whips Flinn into the Announcer Table.

(Black cleans off the Spanish Announcer table, and then grabs a chair from the time keeper, threatening to hit him in the process. He sets the chair up on the Spanish Announcer table.)

KING: Oh!

JR : King, what's he gonna do?

King : I don't know but it better be good!

JR: Black sets Flinn up on the Spanish Announcer Table.
Black hits Flinn with a left hand.
Black climbs up on the Spanish Announcer Table too.

JR : No. Not this. He can't do this!

King : Yes he can! He's going too. Watch!

JR: Black hits the Empty Chamber '03 on Flinn, onto the chair, and through the Spanish Announcer Table!

JR : Oh my God! Oh my God! There's no way any human being can take that kind of punishment!

King : But the people loved it! Listen to them!

(The crowd is alive with their Holy BLEEP chants)

Black manages to slide back inside the ring just before the 10 count.

>>>

(Cameras go live outside of the Savvis Center to see a Black Viper with white lightning bolts down the sides and a big lightning bolt on the hood pull up to the arena. White Lightning steps out with his signature full white suit and silver sunglasses on. He has a gym bag over his shoulder and the bWo TV Title over the other shoulder. White Lightning begins to walk into the arena, as he is walking in, a big black truck pulls into the parking lot beside the black viper. Big Kev walks out of the truck. White Lightning walks over to him and the two talk for a moment.)

White Lightning: Kev, I can't believe Truck had the guts to challenge you

Kev: I know, what a loser! I am gonna tear him apart, bWo style and that is just TOOOOOO SWEEEEEET!

White Lightning: Great! You are gonna be out there for my match right?

Kev: Definitely, I am gonna make sure you get into the Bedlam Bowl!

White Lightning: That's why I hired you!

(White Lightning and Big Kev walk into the arena as the camera fades…..)

Tai Hashi: What you have to remember Athena is that Aquatic has an attitude problem. That attitude problem could grow in this match so go easy on her.

Athena Hashi: Go easy on her? Yeah right, Like I'm going to go easy on that (bleep)!

Tai Hashi: OK. OK. But remember, use your technical style to pull off the victory. You have class and you know it, she doesn't!

PA: BU…BU…BU…BROTHERHOOD WORLD ORDER

("Rough Ryder's Anthem" by DMX begins to blare through the arena as White Lightning and Big Kev Nash walk out onto the stage. Both men stop to stare at the crowd and then begin to walk to the ring area. Big Kev Nash walks around to the ring announcer and grabs the mic. He hands it to White Lightning as they enter the ring.)

White Lightning: St. Louis, Missouri……YOU SUCK!!

(Crowd Boos)

White Lightning: Tonight is a big night. Tonight is the defining moment of my great career to this point. As you all know, I the Chosen One was picked to be Ignition partner for this lethal lottery match tonight against Vern and Master Z. I don't like the fact that I have to team up with Ignition, but no one is gonna stop me from getting one step closer to my ultimate goal of becoming the World Champion! Not Master Suck or Vern or even Ignition for that matter! So all I have to say for Ignition is, just do your part and I'll do mine. So basically what I am saying is, just stay on the apron the whole match and if I happen to need you, I'll tag you in.

(White Lightning stares around at the crowd for a moment)

White Lightning: Vern and Master Z both of you will feel how it feels to your @$$es kicked, bWo style! And tonight, the Career Killer is coming for you to END YOUR CAREERS! Vern, Z, you are stepping in the ring with the real deal, both of you are just cheap imitations!

(White Lightning hands over the mic to Big Kev)

Big Kev: Truck, tonight, you will get the beating of a lifetime at the hands for myself. It is that plain and simple. You are in for a bWo beatdown at the hands for Big Kev, the Giant Killer!

(Big Kev hands the mic back over to White Lightning)

White Lightning: As your TV Champ, I feel I may have cheated you by not defending the title here tonight at Season's Beatings. So, I am gonna run a little non-sanctioned TV Title match for you right now.

(The crowd cheers)

JR: What did he say? A TV Title Match?

White Lightning: My opponent is…..BIG KEV NASH!

King: HAHAHA!

White Lightning: Alright, ding ding!

(Big Kev immediately hits the ground and White Lightning covers him. As White Lightning is covering him, Big Kev pretends to try and kick out.)

White Lightning: ONE…..TWO…..THREE!

(White Lightning gets back to his feet.)

White Lightning: There, now I feel better. I got to defend the TV Title tonight in a great match, all for you guys the fans!

JR: That wasn't even funny King!

White Lightning: Before I leave, Master Z, Vern, Truck, and of course the fans…….YOU ALL SUCK!!!

("Rough Ryder's Anthem" by DMX plays through the arena as White Lightning and Big Kev walk to the back)

(Aquatic is walking around backstage when she turns to face a punching bag,
which we only see the back of.)

Aquatic: Might as well get a couple training rounds in...

(Aquatic spins around and kicks the punching bag high. She throws a couple
fists, directly hitting the midle of the punching bag, then finally dropkicks
the bag, knocking it down and causing the stuffing to blast out.)

Aquatic: HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW, HUH? FEEL LIKE THE BIOHAZARD YOU ARE? YOU'RE
NOTHING! NOTHING!!!!!

(Aquatic storms off, and the camera pans to reveal a ripped and torn picture
of Athena that had adorned the punching bag.)

FADE

LILLY: This contest is a Naughty Or
Nice Match scheduled for two out of three falls.

Led to the ring by Inferno...
From Seymour...
Weighing in at 131 pounds...

Aquatic

PA: PREPARE TO FEEL MY PAIN!....REMIXED......NEW LEVEL OF VIOLENCE....

(Cold's "Stupid Girl" plays over the PA system as blue mist rises from the
stage and Aquatic comes out with Inferno as she holds her head and grins evily.)

PA: WANNA LOVE YA, WANNA BUG YA, WANNA SQUEEZE YA, STUPID GIRL...WANNA TOUCH
YA, WANNA TAKE YA, WANNA SHUT YA, STUPID GIRL....

( She walks down to ringside as the mist continues to rise.)

PA: SHE'S GOING AWAY WITH SOME OF MY LOVE TODAY....STUPID GIRL.......STUPID
GIRL.......STUPID GIRL...

(Aquatic hops up to the apro, hops the ropes, and throws her towel off her
head and raises her arms. She throws them down to shoot off blue fireworks that
blow away the mist.)

PA: I'M A LONER, I'M A LOSER, I'M A WINNER IN MY MIND....I'M A BAD ONE, I'M A
GOOD ONE, I'M A SICK ONE WITH A SMILE....

(Aquatic looks at Athena with a sadistic grin, and walks off to take a mike.
She estures for her music to be stopped,and it is.)

Aquatic: Athena.....you answered yes? How surprisingly un-cowardly of you!
Did you worry your womanhood was at stake? Of course not, you have no
self-respect. I wonder why....you know what, I DON'T CARE HOW YOU ENDED UP HERE!!!
Athena.....tonight....I will prove my physical dominance over you, and prove why I
am THE diva in the BMWF. You tried to embarass Rachel last week via a sneak
attack.....which means you tried to embarass prime Time.....which means you
tried to embarass ME!!! DO YOU THINKI WILL STAND FOR YOUR HUMILIATION OF ME? HUH?
I DIDN'T HEAR YOU!!!

JR: I think Aquatic is overanalyzing Athena's actions of last week!

King: Who cares! Aquatic nailed Athena with mist, brass knuckles, and hit her
with a guitar after handcuffing her just last week! Why is she talking about
attacks as being offensive?

Aquatic: Well Athena....tonight you will be embarassed....and
humiliated....and you will finally, to my eternal joy, truly....FEEL MY PAIN!!!!

LILLY: Her opponent...
Hailing from Chicago, IL...
Weighing in at 137 pounds...

Athena Hashi

*DING DING!*

Aquatic locks up with Athena in the middle of the ring.
Aquatic throws Athena off with a flying ardrag, and flips over with a legdrop.
Aquatic stands up and starts screaming at Athena.

JR: These two women have had it in for each other for the longest time, King!
This two out of three fall match will be the end to a HORRIFIC rivalry!

(Athena gets up, but is met with a dropkick by Aquatic, sending her flying
into the corner. Aquatic flips into Athena with a handspring elbow right into
the chest of Athena.)

King: Ouch! Watch the puppies!

JR: Aquatic is slowly building momentum here!

Aquatic slaps Athena across the face.
The crowd is booing Aquatic vociferously.
Aquatic kicks Athena in the gut and snap suplexes Athena out of the corner.

King: Isn't that odd how the psychopath has a better knowledge of technical
wrestling? HA HA!

(Aquatic hops to the top rope and catches Athena with a moonsault/crossbody.
Aquatic goes for the cover, but Athena gets her foot on the rope at two.
Aquatic stands up and curses.)

Aquatic hits spinning heel kick on Athena Hashi.
Aquatic smacks Athena Hashi with a devastating flying lariat .
Aquatic smacks Athena Hashi with a devastating flying lariat .
Aquatic goes for a bulldog, but Athena Hashi blocks it.
Athena Hashi executes a powerbomb on Aquatic.
Al Johnson counts: One, kickout.
Athena Hashi whips Aquatic into the ropes.
Aquatic hits Athena Hashi with a kick.
Aquatic runs into the ropes.
Aquatic smacks Athena Hashi with a devastating flying lariat .
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Aquatic executes a dropkick on Athena Hashi.
Aquatic whips Athena Hashi into the ropes, but Athena Hashi reverses it.
Aquatic climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Athena Hashi throws her to the mat.
Athena Hashi goes for a moonsault, but Aquatic rolls out of the way.
Aquatic runs into the ropes.
Aquatic almost takes Athena Hashi's head off with a flying lariat
Aquatic hits a dropkick on Athena Hashi.
Aquatic hits Athena Hashi with an eye poke.
Aquatic executes a dropkick on Athena Hashi.
Aquatic runs into the ropes.
Aquatic hits Athena Hashi with a shoulderblock.
Aquatic goes for a snap suplex, but Athena Hashi blocks it.
Athena Hashi takes Aquatic down with spinning heel kick.
Athena Hashi punches Aquatic.
Athena Hashi hits Aquatic.
There is no crowd reaction.
Aquatic chops Athena Hashi.
Aquatic hits Athena Hashi.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Athena Hashi hits Aquatic.
Aquatic kicks Athena Hashi.
Aquatic kicks Athena Hashi.
Aquatic hits Athena Hashi with spinning heel kick.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
Aquatic throws Athena Hashi out of the ring.
Aquatic goes outside.
Aquatic throws Athena Hashi back into the ring.
Aquatic smacks Athena Hashi with a devastating flying lariat .

Aquatic throws Athena across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex.
Aquatic hops to the top rope and begins to twitch.
As Athena gets up, Aquatic jumps off with a picture-perfect hurricarana.

JR: Aquatic's signalling for the Ice Breaker! That could be it right here!

(Aquatic hooks Athena up and executes the Ice Breaker. Aquatic goes for the
cover as the ref counts)

JR: Al Johnson counts: One, two, three.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.

*DING DING!*

JR: There's the bell!
Aquatic catches Athena Hashi in a half Boston crab.
Athena Hashi gets ahold of the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Aquatic nails Athena Hashi with a dropkick.
Aquatic is going for the cover.
Al Johnson counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Aquatic almost takes Athena Hashi's head off with a flying lariat
Aquatic is starting to get under the crowd's skin.
Aquatic whips Athena Hashi into the ropes.
Inferno pulls down the top rope.
Al Johnson threatens Aquatic with disqualification.

JR: Aquatic just nearly decapitated Athena with a spinning heel kick! What's
she going to do now?

Aquatic rips the top off of Athena.
Aquatic stomps on Athena as she tries to get up.
Aquatic whips Athena into the ropes and meets her out of them with a
neckbreaker.

JR: Aquatic's walking over to the paddle! Is she going to make it?

(Athena grabs Aquatic's leg as she begins to scale the turnbuckles, and
Aquatic comes down with a fist to Athena's face. Aquatic snap suplexes Athena out
in the middle of the ring and then jumps off the ropes with an Asai moonsault!)

King: YAAH! Flying puppies!

JR: ASAI! ASAI! Call it the Asai!

Aquatic grabs Athena and starts choking her out on the ropes.
Aquatic relinquishes the choke as the ref starts counting and wraps Athena's
arms in the ropes.
Aquatic rips the pants off Athena and gives her a swift kick to the butt.

King: Poor Athena's all tied up with no place to go!

(Aquatic hops up to the top rope and reaches up, pulling off the paddle. She
hops off with an evil smile.)

JR: Aquatic's got that sadistic grin on her face!

Aquatic tries to hit Athena Hashi with the paddle, but Athena slips out of the ropes and backdrops Aquatic out of the ring.

Athena Hashi grabs the paddle.
Athena Hashi throws Aqautic back into the ring.
Athena Hashi rolls back in.
Athena Hashi spanks Aquatic with the paddle.

*DING DING!*

JR: There's the bell!
Athena Hashi goes for spinning heel kick, but Aquatic side-steps and
Athena Hashi only hits air.

(Aquatic slides out of the ring and grabs a microphone.)

Aquatic: Sorry Athena, but I don't feel lilke breaking a sweat for a third
fall, especially a no-DQ hardcore fall. Inferno?

JR: What are they doing?!?

Inferno begrudgingly walks into the ring.
Inferno says "Sorry" to Athena, and then kicks her in the gut.
Inferno hooks Athena up and hits the Sun Flare.

King: HE JUST SUN FLARED ATHENA, JR!

JR: That no-good son of a-

(Aquatic slides into the ring with a steel chair and sets it on Athena.)

Aquatic: I think I just want to hit the last move, so you won't have to beat
up any more women, honey. Thanks again!

JR: (sarcastically) What a nice husband...

Aquatic kisses Inferno and drops the mike.
Aquatic hops up to the top rope and comes off with a moonsault on the steel
chair and Athena.

Aquatic goes for the cover
Al Johnson counts: One, two, three.
A few fans are booing Aquatic.

*DING DING!*

Lilly: Here is your winner of the third fall....and winner of the "Naughty Or
Nice Match"...AQUATIC!

("Stupid Girl" by Cold plays again as Aquatic stands up, raising her arm with
an evil smile. She slides out of the ring, looking at Athena lying
unconcious.)

(We cut to inside the Rock Star Inc. locker room. Kolic is playing Smash Mario Bro's. Tai approaches him with a PS2 game in his hand.)

(Tai and Kolic head out of view. Athena checks to see they've gone and starts playing Smackdown 5)

(Michael Bole is standing by with Truck and "Mr.
Showtime" Vernon Vanderbilt.)

Bole: Tonight is a very big night for the both of
you. Truck, you have a street fight with Big Kev
Nash.

Truck: You'd best believe it, Michael. One thing
that boy gone realize is that the Truck don't never
take no crap from nobody. Him an' his buddies done
went and unearthed a whole can o' worms! T'night,
Nash pays!

Bole: And Vernon, you are also in a big match, as you
find yourself teaming with Master Z against Ignition
and White Lightning in the Lethal Lottery.

Vernon: And things are certainly going to turn up all
rosy and good when The V and Z Connection goes to town
on those ignorant buffoons.

Bole: So you're pretty confident.

Vernon: I'm pretty, and I'm confident. I WILL go to
the Bedlam Bowl, I WILL win, I WILL headline
Bruisermania, and I WILL win the World Heavyweight
championship. 'Nuff said, Sweet Cheeks.

(Vernon and Truck exit.)

Bole: There you have it. Some very exciting matches
tonight! On with the show!

(The old blue grocery getter comes up the street that leads to the Savvis center at a high rate of speed. It turns into the parking lot on two wheels and slides to a stop near the back entrance. The door fly’s open and The Dawg jumps out. He pulls up his pants, and starts running for the back door. Spotting Michael Bole, The Dawg starts waving his arms for him to get out of the way.)

(The Dawg bumps into Michael and he rushes by.)

The Dawg: Sorry man!

(The Dawg slings open the door and rushes inside.)

LILLY: This contest is a street fight.

Introducing first...
Fighting out of Phoenix, Arizona...
Weighing in at 317 pounds...

"Big Sexy" Kev Nash

PA: BU…BU…BU…BROTHERHOOD WORLD ORDER

("Rough Ryder's Anthem" by DMX begins to blare through the arena as Big Kev Nash steps out onto the stage. Walking out behind him is White Lightning. Big Kev walks down the ramp and enters the ring.)

JR: Truck wanted Big Kev and now he has him! I don't know if that was smart, we have seen what Big Kev can do over the last few weeks!

(Big Kev stands in the ring and awaits Truck's arrival)

LILLY: His opponent...
Led to the ring by Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde...
Fighting out of Breaux Bridge, LA...
Weighing in at 346 pounds...

Truck

P.A.: BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!

(As John Lee Hooker begins to play, Truck and Mr.
Beauregarde make their entrance. Truck grins and
raises his fist at the crowd, then they head down to
the ring for the start of the match. Truck grabs a
microphone.)

Truck: Kev Nash! Tonight, you gon' learn why you
ain't got no business bein' nobody's bodyguard! I'm
fixin' to tear you up, little man! BOOM BOOM!

(Truck heads to his corner to await the start of the
match.)

*DING DING!*

Truck and Nash lock up.
Nash backs Truck into the corner.
The ref tells him to break it up.

King: This is a street fight! He doesn't have to
break it up!

JR: Well, that may be a reflex on the part of our
official there.

Truck nails Nash with a knee to the gut.
Nash doubles over, and Truck takes him down with a
double axe handle.
Truck heads out of the ring.

JR: What's he got there?

King: It looks like...

JR: It's a...

Truck grabs a mop from under the ring.
He rolls back into the ring and proceeds to rub the
mop in Nash's face.

Truck hits Kev Nash with a scoop slam.
Truck nails Kev Nash with haymaker.
Truck takes Kev Nash down with a scoop slam.
Truck is going for the cover.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, kickout.
Truck locks Kev Nash in a sleeperhold.
Kev Nash grabs the ropes after holding out for 6 seconds.
Truck hits Kev Nash with a Samoan Drop.
Truck uses a double ax handle chop on Kev Nash.
Truck nails Kev Nash with a double ax handle chop.
Truck punches Kev Nash.
The audience doesn't quite know how to react to Truck.
Truck hits Kev Nash.
The audience doesn't quite know how to react to Truck.
Truck chops Kev Nash.
Kev Nash kicks Truck.
The crowd is cheering on Kev Nash.
Kev Nash punches Truck.
Kev Nash is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Kev Nash goes for a backbreaker, but Truck counters it with a facerake.
Truck hits a double ax handle chop on Kev Nash.
Truck takes Kev Nash down with a Samoan Drop.
Truck executes a powerslam on Kev Nash.
Charles Robertson counts: One, kickout.
Truck whips Kev Nash into the ropes, but Kev Nash reverses it.
Truck and Kev Nash get hit with a double clothesline.
Truck whips Kev Nash into the ropes, but Kev Nash reverses it.
Truck hits Kev Nash with a shoulderblock.
Truck hits Kev Nash with head pound on mat.
Truck is met with a mixture of cheers and boos.
Truck goes for haymaker, but Kev Nash blocks it.
Kev Nash nails Truck with a kneelift.
Kev Nash nails Truck with a backbreaker.
Kev Nash throws Truck out of the ring.
Kev Nash goes through the ropes.
Kev Nash knocks Truck into the ringsteps.
Kev Nash is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Kev Nash whips Truck into the guardrail.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Kev Nash throws Truck into the ringsteps.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Kev Nash throws Truck over the guardrail.
Kev Nash hits a kneelift on Truck.
Kev Nash is handed a frying pan.
Kev Nash hits him with the frying pan.
The crowd is cheering on Kev Nash.
Kev Nash whips Truck into the guardrail.
Kev Nash nails Truck with a side suplex.
Kev Nash flings Truck over a row of chairs.
Kev Nash shoves Truck into the guardrail.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.
Truck shoves Kev Nash into the guardrail.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.
Truck throws Kev Nash over the guardrail.
Truck goes for a bearhug, but Kev Nash counters it with a punch.
Kev Nash is going for the cover.
Charles Robertson counts: One, shoulder up.
Kev Nash goes for a gutwrench suplex, but Truck blocks it.
Truck is handed ladder.
Truck hits him with theladder.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Truck hits him with theladder.
Truck is starting to get more cheers than boos.
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde comes from behind, but Kev Nash nails
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Truck throws Kev Nash over the guardrail.
They're brawling down the aisle.
Truck is handed a cup of coffee.
Truck hits him with the cup of coffee.
Truck goes for a Gorilla Press, but Kev Nash counters it with a facerake.
They're brawling down the aisle.
Kev Nash hits a forearm smash on Truck.
They're brawling in the back of the arena.
Kev Nash uses a chop on Truck.
They're brawling in the back of the arena.
Kev Nash hits Truck with a bodyslam.
They're brawling in the back of the arena.
They're brawling up the aisle.
They're brawling down the aisle.
They're brawling up the aisle.
They're brawling in mid-arena.
They're brawling in mid-arena.
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde comes from behind, but Kev Nash nails
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde.
Truck is handed a leather belt.
Truck hits him with the leather belt.
Truck acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him.
They're brawling up the aisle.
Truck takes Kev Nash down with haymaker.
Truck flings Kev Nash over a row of chairs.
They're brawling up the aisle.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Truck throws Kev Nash over the guardrail.
Truck goes for a bearhug, but Kev Nash counters it with a punch.
Kev Nash takes Truck down with a slap.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.
They're brawling down the aisle.
They're brawling up the aisle.
Kev Nash goes for a kneelift, but Truck side-steps and Kev Nash only hits air.
Truck is going for the cover.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.
Truck goes for a sleeperhold, but Kev Nash blocks it.
Kev Nash goes for a roundhouse right, but Truck counters it with a punch.
They're brawling down the aisle.
They're brawling up the aisle.
Truck hits a scoop slam on Kev Nash.
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde comes from behind and distracts Kev Nash.
Truck is handed a road sign.
Truck hits him with the road sign.
Truck acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him.
Truck hits him with a road sign.
Truck throws Kev Nash into the guardrail.
They're brawling down the aisle.
Truck nails Kev Nash with a spinebuster.
Truck is handed a bullrope.
Truck takes a swing at Kev Nash with the bullrope, but he gets out of the way.
Kev Nash snatches the bullrope from him.
Kev Nash hits him with the bullrope.
They're brawling in mid-arena.
Kev Nash executes an elbowdrop on Truck.
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde comes from behind and distracts Kev Nash.
Truck hangs him with a bullrope.
They're brawling in mid-arena.
Kev Nash hits a backbreaker on Truck.
They're brawling in mid-arena.
They're brawling in mid-arena.
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde comes from behind, but Kev Nash nails
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde.
Truck is handed a cookie sheet.

JR: Truck hits him with the cookie sheet.
Truck hits him with a cookie sheet.
They're brawling in mid-arena.
They're brawling in mid-arena.
Truck is handed flaming baseball bat.
Truck hits him with the baseball bat.
Truck is getting a ticked look amidst all the boos.
Truck takes Kev Nash down with a double ax handle chop.
Truck is handed motorcycle helmet.
Truck hits him with the helmet.
Truck is getting a ticked look amidst all the boos.
They're brawling up the aisle.
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde comes from behind, but Kev Nash nails
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde.
Truck goes for a bearhug, but Kev Nash counters it with a punch.
Truck re-reverses it.
Truck hits him with the helmet.
Truck hits him with the helmet.
Truck is getting a ticked look amidst all the boos.
Truck hits Kev Nash with haymaker.
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde comes from behind and distracts Kev Nash.
Truck whips Kev Nash into the guardrail.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.
Kev Nash executes a choke slam on Truck.
There are lots of chants for Kev Nash.
Kev Nash whips Truck into the guardrail.
They're brawling up the aisle.
Kev Nash is handed ladder.
Kev Nash hits him with theladder.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Kev Nash throws Truck over the guardrail.
Kev Nash flings Truck over a row of chairs.
There are lots of chants for Kev Nash.
They're brawling down the aisle.
Kev Nash goes for a bodyslam, but Truck counters it with a small package.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, kickout.
They're brawling in mid-arena.
They're brawling up the aisle.
Truck is handed brass knuckles.
Truck hits him with the knuckles.
Truck raises his fist in the air.
The cheers for Truck are drowning out the boos.
Truck throws Kev Nash into the guardrail.
Truck takes Kev Nash down with a Gorilla Press.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.
Kev Nash hits Truck with a kneelift.
Kev Nash is going for the pin.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, thr... kickout.
Kev Nash is handed pool table triangle.
Kev Nash hits him with the table triangle.
Kev Nash hits him with pool table triangle.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.
Kev Nash hits a gutwrench suplex on Truck.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, thr... kickout.
Kev Nash is handed a metal chair.
Kev Nash hits him with the metal chair.
Kev Nash has the crowd going wild.
They're brawling up the aisle.
Kev Nash takes a swing at Truck with the metal chair, but he
gets out of the way.
Truck snatches the metal chair from him.
Truck hits him with the metal chair.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Truck throws Kev Nash over the guardrail.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.
Truck throws Kev Nash over the guardrail.
Truck takes Kev Nash down with a scoop slam.
Truck covers Kev Nash.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Truck throws Kev Nash over the guardrail.
They're brawling up the aisle.
Truck hoists Kev Nash high into the air with a backdrop, then sends Kev Nash cra
shing hard to the mat.
Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde comes from behind and distracts Kev Nash.
Truck is handed a lead pipe.
Truck hits him with the lead pipe.
The crowd seems to be rallying behind Truck.
Truck whips Kev Nash into the guardrail.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Truck goes for a powerslam, but Kev Nash counters it with a lariat.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Kev Nash throws Truck over the guardrail.
Kev Nash uses a fist to the midsection on Truck.
Kev Nash is going for the pin.
Charles Robertson counts: One, two, kickout.
Kev Nash complains about a slow count.
Truck hoists Kev Nash high into the air with a backdrop, then sends Kev Nash cra
shing hard to the mat.
Truck raises his fist in the air.
The crowd seems to be rallying behind Truck.
Truck takes Kev Nash down with haymaker.
Truck is handed a keyboard.
Truck hits him with the keyboard.
The cheers for Truck are drowning out the boos.
They're brawling down the aisle.
Truck hoists Kev Nash high into the air with a backdrop, then sends Kev Nash cra
shing hard to the mat.
Truck hits him with the keyboard.
Truck hits Kev Nash with haymaker.

Truck grins.
He reaches under the ring and grabs...a length of
barbed wire!

JR: I know what comes next!

Truck laughs maniacally as he wraps the wire around
his head.
He lines up his shot.
Nash gets to his feet.
Truck rushes at him, striking with a head on barbed
wire Collision!

JR: Nash is bloodied!

Truck drops and locks on the Crawdad Claw.

LILLY: Ladies and gentlemen, the time limit has expired. The referee declares this match---a draw!

(The BruiserTron lights up, revealing a computerized
representation of the solar system. The shot starts
to zoom in, traveling past Pluto, Neptune, Uranus, and
all the other planets as it homes in on Earth. We
break through the atmosphere, clouds parting, as the
focus sets on the continent of North America. We pull
in closer, as a glowing outline surrounds North
America. Closer still, and the state of California is
highlighted. Closer and closer...southern California.
Faster and faster we zoom in until, in a rush of
colour and light, we find ourselves landing right in
front of the Prime Time Mansion! Cue the music!
"Prime Time" by Promoe begins to play, but it is a
peppier, bouncier, swinging version, baby! Cut to
face shots of all the members of Prime Time, with
appropriate captions to designate their names.
Everyone is giving goofy, sitcom smiles to the camera
as the music plays.
Aquatic...Truck...Inferno....Mineral...Rachel
Pitt...Tamer..."Mr. Showtime" Vernon Vanderbilt...and
featuring Mr. Clancy R. Beauregarde as himself! The
credits wrap up, telling us this is "A Prime Time
Production.")

(Christmas music begins to play and a snowing effect goes a cross the screen
then “The Christmas Special” appears. That fades into all of Prime time
grouped up in the living room around the Christmas tree. They are just
beginning to hand out gifts. Tamer stands up.)

Tamer: Okay…Knowing Vern he’s got some over the top lavish gist. So I would
like to go first to give my gifts their moment of glory. So let me start
with Truck’s gift.

(Tamer walks over to the tree and grabs all the gifts he bought. Tamer
tosses a small box to Truck. Truck unwraps the box and opens it. Truck pulls
out Car keys.)

Truck: Thanks I needed spare keys to the Cruiser.

Tamer: those aren’t keys to the Cruiser.

Truck: They’re not?

Tamer: No those are keys to your new classic Pontiac GTO.

(Truck’s face drops.)

Truck: Oh my God. You’re kidding.

Tamer: Nope. Merry Christmas.

Truck: Thank you. I don’t know what else to say.

Tamer: It’s cool Truck. Okay Clancy is next.

(Tamer hands Clancy a gift. Clancy unwraps it and pull out a Money belt.
With a Very Special belt buckle with “Mr. Beauregard” on it in Diamonds)

Clancy: My stars. This is the dream money belt I was telling you I’ve always
wanted. Thank you Tamer.

Tamer: No prob Clancy.

Clancy: This is miraculous.

Tamer: Mineral you’re next my man.

Mineral: I love this holiday.

(Tamer hands Mineral three individually wrapped presents.)

Mineral: Three gifts?

Tamer: They all go together.

(Mineral unwraps all three Revealing the entire James Bond DVD collection.
Mineral jumps up and does a little dance)

Mineral: This rocks. Yes. Oh Tamer you da man.

(Mineral sits down looking over his gift.)

Tamer: Right on. Okay Aquatic here ya go.

(Tamer hands a gift to Aquatic. Aquatic unwraps the gift.)

Aquatic: The ultimate dark makeup kit. Wow. Thank you so much.

Tamer: You’re very welcome. Inferno, wait till you see what I got you.

Inferno: Aright my turn.

(Tamer hands Inferno a box. Inferno opens it pulling out a full baby blue
lingerie outfit.)

Inferno: What?

Tamer: You know what’s that for.

Inferno: um Tamer. Maybe I’ve done or said something to make you think that.
Well see Tamer I may wear a mask but it’s just for… Look it won’t even fit
me. It’s way to small. And even if it would fit me. I’d have to decline it
because see. I have no use for such-

Tamer: Okay dude, Shut up. What are you talking about. You see that’s for
Aquatic to wear for you. You see she wears that, then you a very happy
person.

Inferno: What? OH!! OH!! THANK YOU!!! You rock man.

(Tamer laughs. Tamer picks up another gift and hands it to Vern)

Tamer: Your turn bro.

Vern: Fabulous.

(Vern slowly unwraps his gift. Carefully lifting the tape and removing the
wrapping paper. Vern smiles at the box because it is a traditional clothing
box. Vern opens the box. Vern pulls out a platinum sequenced robe. The robe
is full length and has “Mr. Showtime” on the back in dark blue.)

Tamer: Now you got a flashy robe to wear to the ring.

Vern: This absolutely fantastic. WHAAA HOOO!!! I love it.

Tamer: I though you might, and I knew you would. Okay now last but
definitely not least in any way shape or form-

Mineral: except height.

(Tamer gives Mineral a look.)

Tamer: Rachel time for me to give you your gift.

Rachel: Okay.

(Rachel takes a breath. Tamer walks over and stands behind her. Tamer
reaches inside his jacket and pulls out a jewelry box. Tamer hands it to
Rachel. Rachel takes a deep breath before opening. She opens it revealing a
necklace. The Chain is gold and it has a gold angel on it. The Angel is
holding a rose. The rosebud is a specially cut Pink Diamond. Tamer takes it
from her and puts it on her.)

Rachel: I um...I don’t know what to say…Well I mean. Thank you. It’s
beautiful.

Tamer: You’re welcome.

Rachel: This is really sweet Josh.

Inferno: All right guys, it's time for the Eco-System's presents! Now since
there are three of us, we got you all three presents each, ok?

Tamer: (jokingly) Aw! Now I have to make three return trips instead of just
one!

Mineral: Ha ha. We lost the receipts, so don't even try it. Anyhoo, first up
is.....Vernon!

(Mineral hands Vernon a bag, and Vernon takes an envelope out labeled
"Inferno". Vernon opens it expectantly.)

Vernon: Oh, the gift of money! How kin....NETS TICKETS?

Inferno: Front row buddy! I know how you love that basketball!

Vernon: You shouldn't have. Really, you just shouldn't have.

Mineral: Open mine! Open mine!

(Vernon tears open Mineral's gift to reveal a big hardcover book.)

Mineral: Now I know how much you like that whole reading thing, so I wrote a
book of my own for you!

Rachel: You wrote a book?

Vernon: (reading the title) The Best Of Eco-System BMWF Forum Posts, Volume
One.....yeah, this will take me a few nights. Let's see what did Aquatic get
me?.....an industrial sized tub of mascara? WHY?

Aquatic: Well, since I used up all your other mascara using it as toenail
polish, I just thought that i should replace it!

Vernon: No no no. I meant WHY did you buy a generic, dollar-store brand??

Tamer: (nudges Vern) Remember buddy, it's the thought that counts. What did
you guys get me?

Inferno: (passes Tamer a package) Here you go Tamer, this is mine.

Tamer: (opening the package) ARE YOU SERIOUS? (pulls out the shirt enclosed)
A TYRONE SMITH XII T-SHIRT?!?!?!??

Inferno: (blissfully unaware of Tamer's indignation) Yup! I know all the
young hip kids like Tyrone Smith, and since you're young and hip....

Vernon: (sarcastically)What is it, Tamer? I thought you said it's the
thought that counts!

Tamer: (forcing a smile) Yeah......Mineral! Good buddy, what did you get me?

Mineral: (handing Tamer a card out of his pocket with a bow) $1,000 dollar
gift card to Home Depot.

Tamer: $1,000 DOLLARS? Wow! Why did you get me this?

Mineral: Um....you know, to pay for the damage we've done.

Tamer: What? You haven't done $1,000 dollars worth of damage-

Mineral: Check Vern's study after.

Tamer: Ahhh. (Pockets the gift card.)

Aquatic: I got you a book, myself. (Aquatic hands Tamer a package, which he
opens. He looks puzzled) Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. I thought
it would help you understand the complex world of relationships.

(Aquatic sits down and nudges Rachel and Tamer. When they ignore her, she
nudges harder.)

Tamer/Rachel: AQUATIC!

(Aquatic stands up and laughs.)

Inferno: Rachel, Mineral and I chipped together on this one. (Inferno hands
Rachel Pitt a gigantic package that is obviously very heavy.)

Rachel: Oof. Well, this must be really nice for you guys to have to pitch
together...let me see. (Rachel unwraps the gift to reveal...) A ROCKET
LAUNCHER??!?!?!??!?!??!

Mineral: (smiling proudly) Old School AK-47. Prime Time's Woman's Champion
deserves only the best protection money can buy.

Rachel: Wow.....so if Moody comes at me with a steel chair, you don't think
it's overkill to BLAST HER WITH A ROCKET LAUNCHER?

(Inferno and Mineral look at each other)

Inferno: You're right Rach.....Moody is kind of heavy. (Inferno hits a
button on the launcher, which causes two more barrels to fold out.) Truck
helped us customize it for triple-barrel. You like?

Rachel: Er....yeah. Aquatic, you get me anything?

Aquatic: "Get you anything"? I keep off your challengers week in and week
out! I keep that title around your waist! You're too self-centered, do you
know that? Without me, you're absolutely nothing! Do you-(Inferno covers
Aquatic's mouth)

Inferno: She's ranting. Let her calm down for a second. (Inferno slowly lets
Aquatic calm down, then lets her go.)

Aquatic: Ah. Thanks, holiday stresses, my bad. Yeah, I got you something.

(Aquatic hands Rachel a small envelope.) I put a card in there. I forgot
what I wrote though, so read it out loud.

Rachel: (reading the card) "You stupid lousy witch, I hope you realized I
worked SO long to get this present, you better appreciate it!!!! I am so
sick of Christmas, I am so sick of buying presents, DOES ANYONE EVEN
REMEMBER WHAT THE PURPOSE OF THIS HOLIDAY WAS TO BEGIN WITH? I REMEMBER! BUT
YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN-

(Aquatic grabs the card and rips it up. Everybody stares at her.)

Aquatic: All right, so I was PMSing when I wrote that!!! Just look at the
gift!

Rachel: (takes out the present) "You have been invited to spend a date with
Kurt Nilsen" Who is that, and why are you over complicating my love life?

Aquatic: (offended) Oh my gosh, this isn't just a blind date! That's Kurt
Nilsen!!!!! The Norwegian Idol winner!!!

Rachel: There was an actual Norwegian Idol? I thought World Idol was just
random people-

Aquatic: OF COURSE NOT! I'm sure Vernon, as well-traveled as he is, knows
him-(Vernon shakes his head) Well, I suppose my husband and brother-in-law,
being from Norway-(Inferno and Mineral shake their heads.) Well, WHATEVER!
His record went platinum the day it was released, and he's really hot!
Besides, you can take a guest.

Rachel: Oh, cool I guess. Hey Josh, you want to-

Aquatic: HINT HINT!!!

Rachel: Oh, Right. You can come with me.

Aquatic: Aww, thank you. (Aquatic hugs Rachel quickly.)

Inferno: Truck, that huge box is your present. Sorry it's only one, but we
all had to chip in.

Mr. Beauregard: I thought that was a decoration!

(Truck eagerly rips open the wrapping paper to reveal....)

Truck: MY VERY OWN BULLDOZER! JUS' WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED! YAY!!!

Vernon/Rachel/Tamer/Mr. Beauregard: YOU GOT HIM A BULLDOZER!?!?!?

Mineral: (cheerfully) Yep! I even convinced Inferno to buy the model with
brakes!

Inferno: I'm telling you, they're not necessary with an emergency stop
button! We could have gotten the jackhammer option if we had passed on
thebrakes!

Truck: It's okay! We can add a jackhamwhatchamacalit later!

Inferno/Mineral: How?

Truck: DUCT TAPE!!!

Inferno/Mineral: MOST EXCELLENT! (Inferno, Mineral,and Truck high five.)

Aquatic: Here, Mr. Beauregard. This is yours. (Aquatic hands Mr. Beauregard
a small package which he hastily opens.)

Mr. Beauregard: A gold keychain. It says "World's Greatest Manager"-Aww,
that's nice.

Inferno/Mineral: And we got you something to go with it! (The brothers hand
Mr. Beauregard an even smaller package.)

Mr. Beauregard: (opening the small box) A key? ...Is this a spare house key?

Inferno: Not exactly...

Mineral: You know how that keychain says "World's Greatest Manager"? Well,
there's a car outside that bears the exact same message...

Mr. Beauregard: (getting up and hugging the Eco-System) Oh....that's one of
the nicest things I ever got! Thank ya'll, Merry Christmas!

Tamer: Guys, how did you pay for all this?

Inferno: Well....we kind of sold our old apartment to pay for this stuff
along with the rest of the BMWF superstars' stuff.

Rachel: So if you leave Prime Time, you're out on the street?

Aquatic: Yep. So don't fire us, all right?

Vernon: Wouldn't dream of it. I'm just surprised your old apartment sold so
high.

Mineral: Wellllllll.....we also kind of took out a draw on our championship
bonus. Let's just hope we win at Season's Beatings.

Mr. Beauregard: Ya'll just like the Gift of The Magi. Quality kids we got
here, Vern.

Vern: Indeed. (Vern looks at the Eco-System's grinning faces.) BUT you still
can't play with the rocket launcher inside the house! (The Eco-System pouts
a little, but jokingly.)

(Fade into message: Due to the length of this episode it will be continued
next week…along with the Prime Time New Year’s celebration. “ Merry
Christmas”…”Happy Hanukah” “ Merry Kwanza” “Happy Ramadan” and “God Bless”
Message all appear and fade into one another ending with a full screen
picture of Prime Time.)

FADE